Why Do One Always Lingers On The Past?

Why does my past seems better to me than my present and future? Well technically speaking, my past isn’t that better than my present but it always seems like I always prefer my past than my present and future, why is that so?


Hi @Wira

Thank you for sharing with us your thoughts, and I think it takes so much courage to be so authentic here with us, and I commend you for this. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way about your past, present, and future. It’s actually very common for people to sometimes reminisce about their past and feel more positively towards it, even if it wasn’t objectively better. It can be a complex emotional experience.

To better understand your feelings and help you process through them, I have a couple of questions:

  1. Can you share with us specific aspects or moments from your past that you find more appealing, and are there any particular reasons why they seem better to you?

  2. How do you imagine your ideal future, and what steps do you think you could take to make it more fulfilling and satisfying, like your past seems to be?

Sometimes it takes some time for us to really think about what has been happening for us in our minds, so that we can fully understand the situation better. I do have some simple suggestions to help you when your thoughts become overwhelming, you can try these out:

  1. Practice mindfulness: I encourage you to focus on being present in the moment, appreciating the small joys in your current life. This is because mindfulness can help shift your perspective and make you more aware of the positives in the present.

  2. Set achievable goals: Try to set and work towards tangible, achievable goals which can give you a sense of purpose and direction for the future. This can perhaps help you create positive experiences that you may look back on with fondness.

  3. Talk to a therapist or counselor: Sometimes, these feelings can be linked to deeper emotional issues. A professional can help you explore the root causes of your preference for the past and develop strategies to help you manage these feelings of discontent about your present.

If you need help with talking to a counsellor, and prefer to talk to someone online, here are some helpful online options for you:

  1. Limitless : Talk To Someone - Limitless
  2. CPH chat : https://www.cphonlinecounselling.sg/hc/en-us
  3. IMH CHAT : https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Pages/default.aspx
  4. ec2 : https://fycs.org/ec2-sg

Again, I want you to know that it’s completely normal to have mixed feelings about the past, present, and future and your feelings are all valid. I encourage you to think about these questions and suggestions and let us know more about your thoughts.

We’re here to support you.


Is it because the past is more familiar and the future is more uncertain?