Why is it difficult to make friends and adjust to poly life?

Freshmen here, have been trying to adapt and cope with the poly curriculum be it in academic or non-academic domains. Sometimes I just feel that the workload is rather overwhelming and suffocating due to the tight deadlines or the amount of work assigned. Lately, it seems that it is been rather difficult for me to reach out or communicate with people due to the lack of common interests which keeps me rather outcasted and ostracised and that people are really not that serious or devoted to their academics which sort of hinders me from keeping my distance away from them so as not to affect my studies.

TL;DR: how can I have a balance of making friends despite having differences while at the same time not having my studies be affected?

Hi @laserjet , thank you for the question! I have moved this topic to this category to expand discussion =D

It is a struggle to balance the social life and academics in poly. Everyone seems to be having fun! It is always a matter of prioritization. What are your end objectives in school and your longer term goals (say 5 yrs)? Most of the time, we can’t have it all (Time for self, social life, academics, SLEEP! etc). This will surface again in adulthood! Might manifest in a different form, but the pattern is the same. You could explore the resources here at youth mindline to see what resonates with you!

An example by lifestages:

  1. You are in a relationship: How do you balance having time with your partner and your friends?
  2. You have kids: How do you balance having time to take care of your kids and your friends?

It can definitely be hard trying to juggle everything. Some may take it as a challenge initially. It’s like stretching a rubber band. However, as the rubber band stretches beyond its limit, it will break at one point. Rubber band breaking is definitely a scenario we wish to avoid.

For overwhelming workloads, what usually works for me is to break out the workload into small workable pieces and setting specific time to clear them. It is a short burst of effort of total concentration. After that I will take a break like maybe watch 1 or 2 youtube vids. This allows me to worry about the work during a specific time period and not let that spill over to my leisure/ down time (Lesser guilty feeling).

If you wish to improve your productivity, to do more with less time, you may need to see which areas you need more help in. This will allow you to complete the task much faster. Is there a learning technique you could use? Is there a technology that can aide you better?

At the end of the day, always remember to self care! You may check out here to see what works for you!


Hey @JimmyJim, thank you for your response and advice which has helped me feel more assured about myself and my surroundings. I will attempt some of the stuff which you have suggested, thank you for the insightful sharing!

Hello Im no professional but one thing that has helped me in making friends was reading some books. I recommend to you the book How to win friends &influence people by Dale Carnegie. Don’t let the title fool you, this is not a book about manipulation, but rather how you can make yourself more agreeable and likeable to others despite age or status.

Hey @Angie, apologies for the late response! Thank you for your suggestion for a good read, will try it out. Cheers ! :slight_smile:

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