I’m not sure how to start this, but i feel like i have no genuine friends. After starting poly, it was difficult for me to make new friends as i have no common interest with anyone. To provide some context, I have a boyfriend and i play games regularly with him and his friends but I’ve thought that i needed to make friends on my own because if our relationship didn’t work out i knew that i would have no one else to rely on. My boyfriend’s friends are not MY friends. With the new year starting, I struggle to make new friends. My classmates and i have a so-called ‘friend group’ but i have always felt like i didn’t fit in. Everyone is in a smaller group within that friend group but not me. The girls seem to have chemistry right from the start and im just there, i dont understand why they laugh at certain words and most of the time im just there. Other people have advised me on coming out of my comfort zone but i already am. I try to make jokes and be involved but somehow i just dont fit in. I have no friends. I feel like I have no one else I could share my feelings to. They always say poly is supposed to be the best years of your life and that you would make friends for a lifetime there but why do I not have friends. Whenever i do well for things people always overlook me so whenever a group of girls are talking i always feel excluded and they tend to forget about me. It feels like im not even there and im just something extra. Last year a group of people left the venue after i told them i was going to the toilet. After i came back to the venue, they all left. Not a single person stayed or remembered me. I guess because of that incident, I have never been the same. i hope you understand where im coming from… I do not know what to do. Am i the problem? I dont understand why cant i be as happy and as giggly as other girls. Whats wrong with me?
hey there! I just want to reassure you that nothing is wrong with you and I want to applaud you for attempting to step out of your comfort zone because it’s really not easy and you need courage to do so!
In my opinion, I think it’s just that you havent had the chance to meet someone as unique as you or has the same interest as you. You mentioned that you like to game so maybe you can try to find friends from an online community like maybe join a discord community! Personally I’m not a gamer girl and don’t really use discord but I heard that there are like communities to join. I think that you dont have to strictly just find friends from school or poly. I’m sure there are other avenues to find friends. For me, I also found and made friends through working part time jobs together and I also signed up for mentorship programs so that I can always share my concerns about life or about my future career path, etc, to someone who is wiser and older than me! I also heard there are like running clubs, hobby clubs, board game clubs in Singapore where they host meetups. I know it’s tough to go at first but things will get better once you meet the same group of people multiple times.
In any case, you have us and this platform to share with us your feelings 
All the best!! You got this!
Hi @User1318,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences so openly. It sounds like you’ve been feeling quite isolated and overlooked, which can be incredibly challenging, especially when you’re trying your best to connect with others.
You’re already doing something really brave by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying to engage with your classmates. Social dynamics can be tricky, and it’s not uncommon to feel like things aren’t clicking, even when you’re putting in the effort. It’s important to remember that this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Sometimes, it just takes time to find the right people who appreciate you for who you are.
I also want to echo what @hereforyou mentioned—it’s entirely okay if you haven’t found your group yet. Friendships aren’t limited to just school or poly; there are other avenues where you can find people who share your interests. You mentioned gaming—maybe joining an online community or a Discord server could be a way to meet others who share your passion. It might also be worth exploring other hobbies or clubs where you can meet people with similar interests.
As @hereforyou wisely pointed out, there are also running clubs, hobby groups, or even part-time jobs where you might connect with others. It’s not always easy to take that first step, but meeting the same group of people multiple times can lead to deeper connections.
Remember, you have us here too. This platform is a safe space for you to share your feelings, and we’re here to support you. You’re not alone, even when it feels that way.
Take care, and keep going—you’re doing better than you might think!