Addiction... really need help please

I am currently facing a very serious addiction to ■■■■■■■■■■■■ I just cant help stop looking at girls lustfully.
Im always constantly looking at ■■■■ pleasuring myself and sometimes do undespicable things.
I really want all these to end now, because I do not want to have such a life.
I dream to have a healthy family with kids where I do not have to struggle with my mental health against ■■■■■

My addiction is beyond ordinary. Everytime I tell myself this is it, I need to stop doing such things. But weeks later I would find myself doing it again.

How? What should I do… I have thought of consulting IMH, but Im embarassed. Also I do not want to leave a record for myself.

Hi @Lpeter,

Thank you for being so open about something that must be incredibly difficult to admit. The fact that you’re reaching out means that you’re already fighting for change, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. I hear you, and I see how much you want a different life.

It sounds like you’re feeling trapped in a cycle that you desperately want to break free from. That frustration, that exhaustion of trying again and again but finding yourself back in the same place—I can imagine how discouraging that must feel. And on top of that, you’re carrying a deep sense of shame, which makes it even harder to ask for help.

I want to acknowledge something important: Addiction does not define who you are. You are not “bad” for struggling with this. Compulsion is not a choice—it’s something the brain wires itself into over time. The fact that you feel disgusted by your actions means that this addiction does not align with your true values. And that’s a powerful thing

You mentioned that you dream of a healthy family, a future where you no longer struggle with this. That dream is valid, and it is possible. Right now, it might feel impossible because you’ve tried to quit before and relapsed. But recovery is not about never failing—it’s about learning what makes you relapse and changing the patterns around it.

In learning what makes you find yourself doing it again, you may consider reflecting on the following:

  1. When do these urges hit the hardest? (Is it at night? When stressed? When alone?)
  2. When was the last time you successfully resisted an urge? (Even if only for a short time—what was different in that moment?)
  3. What do you believe will happen if you seek professional help? (What are you most afraid of?)

I hear that you’re afraid of leaving a “record.” That makes sense, especially if you’re worried about future career opportunities or stigma. But there are options for confidential and judgement-free support:

  • Private therapists: Many do not keep official diagnostic records unless necessary.
  • Support groups: Some are even online and anonymous.
  • Self-help strategies: If professional help feels too overwhelming, we can explore small changes to regain control.

Here are more options to consider:

CHAT—The Community Health Assessment Team (CHAT) provides confidential mental health checks for young persons between 16 and 30 years old who are currently living in Singapore. They operate CHAT Hub, a mental health centre located at *SCAPE, and maintain an online presence through their website and webchat.
6493 6500
6493 6501
https://www.chat.mentalhealth.sg/

Fei Yue Community Services—LIVE CHAT eC2 is an online facility offering free counselling to youths. http://www.ec2.sg/

TOUCH Community Services—TOUCHline: Emotional support and practical advice are rendered through this youth helpline
1800 377 2252

Mandarin Speaking,
Care Corner
Hotline for the Mandarin-speaking community facing mental health problems or distressing family situations
1800 353 5800

Right now, more than anything, I want you to know: You are not beyond help. You are not doomed to this life forever. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen in small, consistent steps. Whenever you’re ready, we are here to help you figure out what’s next. No pressure. No shame. Just support. :blue_heart:

Hi @FuYuan_Affections,

Thanks for your response to this!

Just wanted to add on that IMH is bound by confidentiality, as outlined in the IMH Patient Charter. (https://www.imh.com.sg/Patients-and-Visitors/Pages/Patient-Charter.aspx)

@Lpeter Do rest assured that if you do see a consultant at IMH, they are bound by doctor-patient confidentiality as well, and the records will not be made public.

The only exception to the rule of medical confidentiality is if a patient poses a risk of harm to themselves or others, or if it is required in legal situations (i.e. police investigations or legal cases).

Hope this helps to clarify your concerns!

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Hi Lpeter, i am a NAMS Addiction Counsellor. I am aware that you are not keen to follow up with IMH. Are you open to approach a community support agency like WE CARE Community services at kembangnan chai chee CC. They are a drop in centre for addictions and they have a team of counsellors and A Programme. It would be good if you can see a professional counsellor to work on your challenges. When you get the urge to go into the sexual behaviour are there other healthy activities you can get into to distract yourself. Putting some plans and strategies in place can be helpful so that you can utilise them .

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heyyy @Lpeter thanks for sharing your concerns here! its really not easy what youre dealing with!!
Just having the courage and taking the step towards trying to find a way to overcome this shows how you are on track towards the life you actually want :')
I’ve had a friend who struggled with this and I rmb feeling a mix of surprise and confusion when he shared that with me. But there was absolutely no judgment cos sexual needs are such a primal part of humans, and we can address any issues of our needs in similar ways too!
Getting support in this would definitely make it more manageable on your journey here, to learn tools/concepts/methods to help deal with this addiction.
You’ll be able to live the life you want to live :muscle: :people_hugging: