How do i stop

hi. i had a history of self harm a few years ago, but i was clean after that. but somehow this year i kind of relapsed. and it’s like a few years ago all over again, and i feel so upset with myself because i worked so hard to get out of that hellhole of negative thoughts but im back here again. and everytime im clean for a few days i cant take it and i self sabotage again. i dont know what to do. a few of my friends noticed my scars and have been sweet about it. but i cant tell my parents because they’re amazing and have been nothing but nice to me, and to know that i harm myself would break them. but its getting harder to hide the scars. the urge to cut comes, and i cant fight it. but i want to stop for my parents and for the people who love me. im just kind of tired of feeling like a burden and having this sort of dread lingering in my mind. how do i get myself to stop?


Hi @wafflesian

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time right now. I can see that you’re facing a challenging situation, and I want to commend you for reaching out for help and wanting to make positive changes in your life. You’re a brave and courageous person because you took a step out to seek for support, and for this, I’m proud of you.

I want to affirm you that your feelings are completely valid and somehow you cannot seem to fight the urge to hurt yourself – this is something that a lot of people experience as well. I want to encourage you that even though it is a difficult fight to fight, it is one that is worth fighting for because you are so important to the people around you.

For moments when you feel overwhelmed and are not sure how to help yourself, please do try these strategies – they may help you on your journey:

  1. Seek Professional Help :blush: A mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who specializes in self-harm and can provide you with the appropriate guidance and support. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your self-harming behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms to deal with difficult emotions and thoughts. A therapist can also work with you to create a safety plan for managing urges and developing strategies to prevent self-harm.

  2. Build a Support Network: While you mentioned concerns about sharing this with your parents, it’s crucial to have a support network in place. You’ve already mentioned that some of your friends have noticed your scars and have been understanding. Consider confiding in a close friend or two who can offer emotional support and help hold you accountable during challenging moments. It’s essential to have people you can talk to when the urge to self-harm arises.

  3. Self-Care and Coping Strategies: Develop a toolbox of healthy coping strategies to manage difficult emotions and urges. These could include activities that help you relax and de-stress, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, journaling, art, or physical exercise. It’s also crucial to identify triggers that lead to self-harming urges and work on strategies to avoid or address them proactively. Some helpful activities to add into your toolbox can be:

a. Deep breathing: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health |

b. Reframe perspective: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health |

c. Stay positive: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health |

d. Meditation: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health |

Last but not least, you ever feel overwhelmed or are in immediate danger, please reach out to a crisis hotlines:

I want to encourage you again, that recovery is a process, and it’s normal to have setbacks. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to seek help and support along the way. You’re not a burden, and the people who care about you want to see you get better :blush:

Please take care and continue to reach out for support! :slight_smile: