i have put in so much effort and yet no one recognises it, to the point where i’m starting to believe that god has favourites; and i’m not one of them. i am so sick and tired of being alive. i know it’s selfish but i honestly just can’t do it anymore. i don’t want to see the light of day because i know that my life won’t suddenly turn around for the better.
thankfully, i still have friends that i can reach out to, but lately, i think i’m just burdening them with all my problems. i also don’t want to disappoint my parents any further as i know that i have already proven to them that i am just a failure.
please give me words of advice
hello @user1454 
! Thank you for sharing your experience or story. It definitely takes a lot of courage for you to share them.
Firstly, your efforts are important, even if no one notices them. I cannot imagine how terrible it is to give everything or your best but nobody is acknowledging, like your efforts are in vain. Life might seem unfair at times as if others are favoured or things never go our way, but your value is not dictated by external factors or anybody else’s approval.
It’s nice to see that there are friends by your side. I’m sure they are genuinely trying to help or hear you out. You’re not a burden alright. Although they may not always know how to assist, true friends nonetheless care about you and don’t see you as a burden.
Feels like there is a lot on your plate right now and, lots of emotional burdens, so it makes sense that you’re worn out. Take some time to relax and give your time some time to take a break.
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Hi User 1454,
You sound anguished for not being recognised (compared with others) to the point that you want to give up what you are currently doing. (Here, I presume that you are referring to your work). When the work you did fail to be accepted/appreciated/affirmed, you see yourself as a failure. I am not sure about the job you are working on, but I can make up that you are earnest, diligent and committed in your work, and not getting the acceptance/appreciation that you hope for can be a big blow to you.
I remember reading an article. Someone asked Thomas Edison how he saw his many failures in his experiments, and he replied : “I have not failed, I just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”. My point here is that sometimes there may be many ways to interpret results that appeared to be disheartening, and how you see it might be just one perspective.
Some possible ways to analyse your problem:
- Mentally, to pull yourself out from the role you are playing, and view it from the perspectives of the one(s) appraising your work. A common saying “you can’t see the picture when you are in the frame”, thus this way may let you look at the work better, in terms of others’ requirements, expectations, relevance, etc.
- Find someone you trust and understand your job, and evaluate/appraise your work /effort together, and see if the interpretations are the same.
- Have an open talk with a superior / someone who appraise your work, to find out the real reasons for not accepted/recognised. Finding the root cause to the problem will probably help you better in the long run.
- Take some time to reflect on your involvement in the job. Is there a mismatched of skills and the job ? Analogically is like using a screwdriver to do a hammer job - the result will likely to be unsatisfactory.
Hope my sharing is appropriate and helpful. Take care.
Hi @user1454
It seems like you feel like you’re being unjustly treated, whereby you’re not recognized for your efforts. This has lead you to feeling hopeless with regards to your life.
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you, it does feel unfair when our hard work does not reap their rewards. Have you talked to your parents about this? Especially the part whereby you feel like a failure.
I don’t think you’re burdening your friends with your problems. If otherwise, they wouldn’t even bother to listen to you right? Your friends likely love you unconditionally to allow you to vent their problems to them. And in return, I’m sure you’d allow them to do so as well right?
It seems like you are going through a period of high stress and it’s causing you to feel overwhelmed with every aspect of life. It would be good for you to visit a counsellor or psychotherapist to aid you in navigating these aspects of your life, as right now it is hard to fully understand the complexity of the situation through a short forum post.
I wish you happiness