i have friends who are willing to help heal me but i feel like I’m failing them everytime, for my whole life I’ve always been thinking about others but not myself so it’s hard for me to accept help especially when i can’t even help myself, idk why i just can’t, they’re putting everything into helping me but I’m failing them all the time, i hate encouraging words and comforts because I’ve heard so many of them but none of them helps me, i know that if i tell them that i just can’t help myself, they’re just gonna tell me to take it slow and try my best, but none of those words will help me, they’re really concerned and worried about me but i hate that they’re worrying because of me, they are trying very hard to help me but I’m doing nothing to help myself so in the end I’m just wasting their efforts, especially when they say they’ll try their best to help me, it feels like they’re putting pressure on me and I’m failing them, i just can’t, they’re trying to help someone like me who can’t even help themselves and is most likely never gonna be saved, if in the end i ended up not healing, they’re definitely gonna think it’s their fault for not trying hard enough even when it’s ALL my fault, the more their efforts, the more i feel like I’m being a burden and failing them, they’ll definitely feel frustrated and upset that they’re not able to help me which i don’t want them to feel that way, it was all my fault, my problems were all my fault, i know people will say it’s not my fault but i already accepted the truth, it’s all my fault, i hate how I’m putting my burden on them, idk what to do anymore i just feel like i can’t even be saved anymore.
I can sense the weight you’re carrying—the feeling of failing those who care about you, the pressure of their efforts, and the belief that you’re somehow a burden. It’s so clear how much you value your friends and how deeply you worry about their feelings. I want to take a moment to acknowledge how incredibly heavy this all feels for you.
It sounds like you’ve been holding onto a lot of guilt and blame for a long time. It’s understandable that you’re struggling to accept help when you feel like you don’t deserve it or that you’re letting people down. Sometimes, when we’re used to putting others first, it can feel impossible to turn that care inward and allow ourselves to be supported.
Can I share something with you? Your friends’ efforts aren’t wasted just because you’re struggling. Healing isn’t linear, and you don’t have to “perform” recovery to be worthy of their support. They care about you not because they expect you to get better right away, but because they see you—the real you—and they want to walk alongside you.
A few things to reflect on:
What would it feel like if you allowed yourself to receive help without worrying about the outcome?
Is it possible that your friends’ efforts are not a sign of pressure, but a sign of their love and commitment to you?
How might things shift if you could see their support as a reminder that you’re not alone in this?
You mentioned that you feel like you’re not doing anything to help yourself. Sometimes, holding on is enough. You’re here, sharing your struggles, and that takes so much strength. It’s okay to take things slow. There’s no timeline for healing, and your worth isn’t measured by how quickly you get better.
You don’t need to know all the answers at this moment. We are here and holding space for you. Your struggles don’t make you a burden; they make you human. Let’s explore together, one small step at a time. You’re not alone in this.
Sending gentle strength your way.
anyone can be saved. get professional help. ur frens n u may not know how to heal u but their intentions r right. u have to slowly believe in urself too. some of my frens r gone, but ur frens r still there
hey @user1746 I actually feel the same way as you. I want you to know that you should not be bottling up your feelings I have been through feeling this way many times ever since like 6 years ago when i develop just 1 negative thought. Seek professional help through IMH chat function. I’ve been doing it ever since I found out about it and it has helped me a lot. Know that Your life is precious! You can journal (write all your feelings down) If you are still in school, you can speak to your teacher or school counsellor about reading your diary weekly n giving you advice. Doing that has helped me a lot too!!