Alcohol addiction/lying

Hi there,

I am a Christian, married for two years. I am struggling with alcohol dependency and many arguments between my wife and I have been centered around me drinking too much.

The lastest incident, I drank with a colleague after work and lied to my wife that I was going home. She found out the next morning and I am devastated because I have taken her last forgiveness and trust for granted.

I hope I can find a solution to break out of this cycle, and build a secure home for my family.

Thank you.

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Hi @Ezekiel24

Thank you for sharing your struggles with us, I hear you, and I want to acknowledge the courage it took to share this with me. I can hear that you’re facing a difficult challenge, and it’s clear that you deeply care about your marriage and family. Struggling with alcohol dependency is tough, and it can have a big impact on relationships.

It’s understandable that your wife’s trust has been shaken by these incidents, but I’m proud to hear that you recognize the need to break out of this cycle. I have 3 suggestions here for you to try:

  1. Seek Professional Help - Please consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in addiction. They can provide you with a listening ear and guide you with specific strategies to help you overcome this alcohol issue, and also help you to manage the habit of lying to your wife, and most importantly improve your relationships. You can try walking in or calling a nearby Family Service Centre (click on the link to find one near your home).

  2. Open and Honest Communication - It’s really important to have open and honest communication with your wife about your struggles with alcohol. I feel it is also important to apologize sincerely for the times you’ve let her down and reassure her of your commitment to change, as having transparency and accountability can help rebuild trust in your relationship.

  3. Explore Healthy Coping Mechanisms - I encourage you to identify healthier ways to cope with stress or difficult emotions that don’t involve alcohol. This could include finding new hobbies or activities that bring you joy, practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation, or engaging in regular exercise to improve your physical and mental well-being. I personally feel that having physical activities (like sports) can help to take off the mental load and also redirect your energy in a healthy way, which can eventually help you reduce your alcohol reliance.

Last but not least, I want to affirm you that trust takes time and effort, but it’s possible with commitment and a willingness to change. Please do remember to be gentle with yourself as you tread gently through this process, and know that it’s okay to ask for help along the way.

Let us know how you’re coping and if you’ve tried any of the suggestions. We’d love to hear from you again - keep us updated ok? :slight_smile:

Hello @Ezekiel24 kudos to you for wanting to be a better father and husband ! Like what @cottonsoul mentioned open and honest comms is the way to go. Not just with your family but also be honest with yourself :+1:

All the best looking forward to see a better you hehe :muscle:

Hi @Ezekiel24 , the first step to healing is acknowledging the problem. It seems like you have which is commendable. There are options for you to seek help and advice.

I encourage you to take a look at the National Addictions Management Service website. You can assess your needs and decide next steps.

This is their helpline if speaking with someone is more convenient for you.

This is a good overview of information. There are medications available to help you in the recovery journey.

Thank you for sharing with our community to help others who may be facing similar challenges. Hope this has been helpful.

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