My wife has a bad temper and is abusive

For years I have been suffering with a wife who had a bad temper, high strung and abusive. She always insist she is right and does not listen to reason. She claims to be a Christian but does not want to follow the Bible teachings

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Hi @Proactive

Firstly, thank you for sharing your thoughts and struggles here on this platform. I want to commend you for the effort, as it takes a lot of courage to be real and authentic. I can imagine how tense the relationship might seem sometimes, and I’m truly sorry to hear that you’ve been experiencing such a challenging and difficult situation with your wife.

It’s important to address these issues and work towards a healthier and more harmonious relationship. Let’s explore some strategies to help you navigate this situation, and I’ll also ask a few questions to better understand your specific circumstances:

  1. Open Communication:
    • Have you tried talking to your wife truthfully about your concerns and feelings in a calm and non-confrontational manner? Effective communication is often the first step in resolving conflicts.
    • Are there specific issues or triggers that seem to set off her temper? Sometimes identifying these triggers can be helpful in finding solutions.
    • You can also try this simple activity first to help you prepare for the conversation: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health |

  2. Seek Professional Help:
    • Have you considered couples therapy or counseling? A trained therapist can facilitate productive conversations and provide tools for both of you to manage conflicts more effectively, and may help both of you to process some underlying personal issues too. If her behavior is abusive or causing harm, it’s essential to prioritize your safety. You may want to consult with a domestic violence counselor or helpline ( 1800-777-0000) for guidance on how to protect yourself.

  3. Self-Care and Boundaries:
    • Are you taking care of your own mental and emotional well-being? Self-care is crucial in difficult situations. Make sure to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, for example taking a walk when you feel overwhelmed, or playing sports, or engaging in exercise can be helpful too.

  4. Reflect on Your Values and Expectations:
    • It’s understandable that you’re concerned about your wife’s behavior not aligning with her Christian beliefs. Have you discussed this disconnect with her? Understanding her perspective might be enlightening for both of you.
    • What are your expectations for the relationship? It’s important to consider what you want and need from the relationship, and whether it aligns with your values and goals.

Please remember that I’m here to provide support and guidance, but I can’t replace the value of speaking with a professional therapist or counselor who can work with you and your wife directly. Your well-being and safety are important, and addressing these issues with a trained mental health professional can help bring positive changes in your relationship.

You can also read this article and find out how to talk to a counsellor: Mental Health Helplines & Counselling Services in Singapore |

Do keep us updated about how you’re copping and whether you’ve managed to seek further support from any therapist from hereon. Do take care and stay safe!

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(post deleted by author)

Hi CottonSoul, is my reply to you read by others?

Hi @Proactive
Yes anything you post here is open for public viewing!