I face mental challenges in the past with panic attacks and burntout. Unfortunately, I’m undiagnosed and i was around 15-16years old when I was at one of my lowest points. My parents didn’t believe me and thought i just wanted attention. So I only had the support from the school counselor .It affected my grades and I failed most of my prelim subjects, but thankfully, i manage to push through O levels, and i got into my dream course and polytechnic. It fact it is my first choice in jae. However. I feel so unexcited everyday for poly. And the thing is, all the lectures are nice, I love the modules that I’m studying and it piques my interests. I have about one or two friends. I managed to join the ccas I want. but even when everything is going my way I don’t feel happy about it. Is like I feel empty despite literally living my dream. last year I self studied programming for my EAE and i really enjoy it but i don’t feel the same amount of joy and like obsession as compared to last time. Yet, I feel that to say i don’t like it anymore is absurd. I feel unmotivated and empty in a sense. Am I just overthinking things? Am I just being persimesstic? Why would something I love a few months ago suddenly not bring me the same amount of joy anymore?Yet I don’t feel that this is a burnout.
Hey @Burntoutbook ,
From your post, it does not sound like you suddenly became lazy or negative. It sounds more like you have been under stress for quite a long period, especially during your O level years when you were dealing with panic attacks, burnout, and feeling misunderstood at home.
Sometimes after pushing through a difficult period for a long time, people expect themselves to immediately feel happy once they reach their goal. But the mind and body do not always recover that quickly. Emotional exhaustion can sometimes show up as: feeling flat or empty or reduced excitement. The difficulty in enjoying things the same way as before may show up and feeling disconnected even from interests you still care about.
What stood out to me is that you still seem interested in your course. You mentioned liking the modules, appreciating your lecturers, joining the CCAs you wanted, and recognising that programming used to be something meaningful to you. Because of that, this may not necessarily mean that you no longer like the field. It may be that you are still emotionally tired from what you went through previously.
You also mentioned not feeling that this is burnout. Burnout does not always look like complete inability to function. Some people continue attending school and managing responsibilities while internally feeling emotionally drained or less connected to things they used to enjoy.
At the same time, because you have a history of panic attacks and prolonged stress, I do think it would be good to continue monitoring how you are coping emotionally over the next few months. If the emptiness, low motivation, or loss of enjoyment continues or worsens, it may help to consult a mental health professional or doctor for proper support and assessment.
I’m glad your school counsellor was someone supportive during secondary school. It may also help to continue speaking with a counsellor in polytechnic, even if things are still manageable on the outside. Having emotional support while adjusting and gradually reconnecting with your interests can make a difference.
For now, try not to pressure yourself into immediately “feeling passionate again.” Sometimes interest returns more gradually after periods of stress and exhaustion. Let us know how you feel?