anxiety troubles

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

I feel anxious quite a lot, especially when I have to go out on my own or be around other people. At school too, I just can’t seem to let my guard down, and I’m tense almost all the time.

I often feel like I’m being watched or noticed by other people, both at school and outside. Because of this, I’m very conscious of how I look and behave, and I worry about appearing awkward.

Whenever I’m around other people on my own, I tend to fidget a lot, such as scratching or pinching my arm a little, or making myself look distracted so I don’t look awkward. I also have difficulty talking and expressing myself. Sometimes when I try to talk to someone, I need a few seconds to form what I want to say in my head before I can get the words out. Sometimes, even when I open my mouth and try to speak, I physically can’t get any words out. When this happens, I usually rely on non-verbal gestures instead.

Because of this, I avoid going out quite often, usually only feel comfortable going out with my parents, and tend to avoid participating in social activities. Even my parents have noticed this and are worried because I’ll eventually need to be more independent.

Is this a normal level of anxiety?

2

@reliablecloud3697,

What you described sounds like it goes beyond everyday nervousness. The combination of things you’ve mentioned like constant tension, strong self-consciousness, avoiding going out alone, difficulty getting words out, and physical fidgeting suggests a level of anxiety that’s significantly affecting your daily life and independence.

A few things I’m curious about: how long has this been going on for you? And do you have a sense of whether anything triggered it, or did it develop gradually over time?

I’d also like to know if you have considered speaking to your school counsellor about this? They’re a good first point of contact, and what you share with them is generally kept private unless there’s a concern for your safety. A counsellor can help you figure out whether you might benefit from more specialised support, such as seeing a mental health professional who works with anxiety. What you’re experiencing is something that usually responds well to the right kind of help, so you don’t have to just push through it on your own.