my friend is having negative thoughts about herself and often bad thoughts. She doesnt want to talk to a teacher or be counselled and would prefer if they approached her first. She has only told some of her friends, and im getting concerned because i dont know how to help her. The teachers and parents know about this but they have not reached out to her. What should i do?
Hi @shadingdong ,
First off, it’s clear that you care deeply for your friend, and that’s a wonderful thing. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of worry and concern about how to help her, especially since she’s not open to formal support or intervention right now.
It’s understandable that you feel helpless. You want to help, but it seems like your friend is in a difficult place where she’s reluctant to reach out for support, and the people who know about the situation—her parents and teachers—haven’t yet taken action. This must be really frustrating for you, especially when you want to do more but don’t know what that looks like.
You’ve mentioned that she prefers for others to approach her, and that might suggest that she feels overwhelmed or doesn’t feel ready to take the first step herself. Sometimes, people who are struggling with negative thoughts and emotions need a little push to feel comfortable reaching out. It might also be that she feels unsure of how to ask for help or fears that others won’t understand.
Let’s talk about what you could do. Have you thought about gently encouraging her to talk more openly? Perhaps you could start by acknowledging her feelings—letting her know you’re there for her and that she’s not alone. You might say something like, “I know things have been tough for you lately, and I’m here to listen if you want to talk about anything.”
If she’s still resistant to talking, maybe you could ask if she’d be open to writing down how she’s feeling. Sometimes people find it easier to express themselves through writing than speaking directly.
It sounds like you’re in a difficult spot, wanting to help your friend but not knowing exactly how. Remember, your presence and concern are already a huge support for her, even if it doesn’t feel like enough. Sometimes just showing up for someone, without necessarily having the answers, is all they need.
How does it feel to know that simply being there for your friend, even if you’re not solving everything, can make a difference?
You’re already showing a lot of care by reaching out for advice, and that’s a testament to your compassion. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right now. What’s most important is that you continue to offer support in ways that feel comfortable for both of you.
Lastly, have you thought about reaching out to your own support system? It might help to have someone to talk to about this, especially if it’s starting to feel like too much to carry alone.
Take care, and remember that the fact that you’re concerned and seeking advice is already a huge step in the right direction.