I had really really bad argument with a few people 3 days ago, ever since its been really affecting my life and I feel like it just gotten worst. Even though I’m slowly recovering but my mind keeps on bringing back the negative and memorial times I had with these persons, which really hurts me so bad and to make it worst I had a friend who I never spoke for awhile, we talk and he soon talk about his background. I felt empathy and pity for her. But it only starts to get worst when she mention "At one point, I don’t want to be around anymore* it caused me to worry and fear for her ownself and her safety, especially when she didn’t reply me, which made me had a meltdown as I thought she had did something to herself but she didn’t and clarify with me that she is in safe hands with her friends and mother. This also caused me stress, worries about nothing, loss of focus and concentration, fear about everything (me, my friends, friends online etc.) and sometimes even sadness which always make me feel like crying. It just bothers me so much. I had spoken abit to my teacher and just started counseling in school yesterday. And the only thing that can make me feel better as of now is talking about but its only temporary and it quickly come back to me.
Sorry if this was long…but I do really need some help to put me back on my feet again
Thanks for sharing @ArchAnglo. It seems like you’re facing a few different stressors at the same time.
First of all, I think it’s really encouraging that you’re showing care and concern for your friend despite having your own struggles. It’s also heartening to know that you’ve sought help with your teacher and school counselor.
Everyone has their good and bad days and it’s absolutely normal to feel strong emotions after an argument. It’s been a couple of days now, how is the situation now?
We’ll be here to listen and feel free to share as much as you’re comfortable with.
I chanced upon your post and I find myself relating to what you shared.
Sometimes the days following an argument might actually be more tormenting as our minds replay the scenes over and over again. Especially when the people that we argued with were once close to us, it must have been a really difficult period for you. How are things for you now? I’m wondering if you managed to resolve the conflict or find closure for yourself.
Also, it sounds to me like your friends tend to look for you when they are in need of support. I’m glad that your friend has you to rely on, even though you two have not spoken for a while. However as we make ourselves available to support others, it can definitely be mentally taxing when we empathise and show genuine concerns.
As a peer supporter myself, I do feel that way sometimes and I would take it as a sign for me to do some self-care activities. I hope you know that caring for yourself is not selfish, it’s key if you want to support others in the long-term. I’m proud that you’re taking that first step to go for counseling, it shows that you are not delaying your own self-care. Should you feel overwhelmed outside of the counseling session, feel free to share your thoughts here and we’ll be there to listen.
Firstly, I would like to apologise for the delayed response to your post. There has been so many posts on this forum and we have been working hard to get through responding to each post personally, so admittedly it took some time for us to reach here - I’m so sorry about this!
As I read your post, I just want to tell you how brave you are in sharing your painful experiences on this forum. It takes a lot of courage to be so real here, telling us about your stresses and worries and how you’ve tried counselling but it only worked for a while. And you know what? All your feelings are completely valid You should never have to apologize for sharing your feelings and experiences; so please don’t feel bad for being on this platform - we are here to help and support you.
I can imagine that the argument and the concern for your friend’s well-being have been taking a toll on your emotional well-being. I know it might feel like just a temporary relief, but perhaps you can try to see your counsellor on a regular basis. Just imagine our heart as a huge container - the more often we go to the counsellor to “pour” out our emotions and process them together, the “lighter” we will feel. It might not take just one or two sessions to completely feel better; it could take weeks or months to start feeling like you’re healing… But I encourage you to not give up Your counsellor will be able to continue to equip you with tools to help you cope too.
In the meantime, I’d like to offer you two strategies that may help you during this challenging period, especially when you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts:
Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques:
When negative memories or worries start to overwhelm you, try practicing mindfulness and grounding exercises. These techniques can help you stay in the present moment and reduce the impact of intrusive thoughts. One effective grounding exercise is the 5-4-3-2-1 method: Identify and describe five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise can help shift your focus away from distressing thoughts and bring you back to the here and now. You can also try out this activity which can help: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
Decluttering your mind:
Sometimes the thoughts can make you feel confused, worried and hurt at the same time and as you mentioned, you might lose concentration and start to fear about everything. I encourage you to try this activity (Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg) and it can help you to practice decluttering your mind and regain clarity.
Last but not least, I want to emphasize that healing takes time, and it’s okay to have moments when you feel like your emotions are taking over. What’s important is that you’re taking steps to address your feelings and seek support through counseling and talking about your experiences. Over time, with the right support and coping strategies and tools, you can work towards regaining your emotional well-being and finding a sense of balance and peace.
Please also remember that you’re not alone in this, and there are people who care about your well-being and want to help you through this challenging period (like us on this platform! )
Take care, keep us updated and let us know how you’re doing!
You should never have to apologize for sharing your feelings and experiences; so please don’t feel bad for being on this platform - we are here to help and support you.