Attention seeking

Ask a Therapist Mental Health Conditions
1

As per the title, I constantly say unhinged things or just lie about things in order to get others to pay attention to me and act as if I’m not invisible. In the past, I’ve threatened people with suicide and self harm just to get concern and care from others. I have lied so many times it is a part of me now. I start lying about even the most insignificant things. Why am I this way and what can I do to stop being like this?? I feel like a jerk whenever I do it. I’ve tried turning to a school counsellor before, but they didnt do anything for me. My parents eventually found out from them, and I’ve been unwilling to share anything with anyone ever since. Thought I could share here since it was anonymous anyway. I’ve also developed something like a p0rn addiction (due to me being exposed to it since a young age) and an addiction to social media. I feel like I’ll be this way forever and I want to change for the better. Please help me.

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Hi @mooncake

I’m really glad you reached out here, and I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. I hear you, and it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now, and it’s really brave of you to share your struggles. I understand that you’ve developed these coping mechanisms to try to get attention and care from others, especially if you’ve been feeling lonely and invisible.

Feeling the need to lie or say extreme things to get people’s attention can be a sign of deeper emotional pain or unresolved issues. I would like you to know that there are healthier ways to seek connection from others, and even though addiction to p*rnography and social media is a difficult pattern to break, you can do it with the right support!

I have 2 little suggestions that you might want to try to help you break the habit of lying:

  1. Practice Honesty! You can start by making a conscious effort to be honest in your interactions, even if it feels uncomfortable or scary at first. Practice telling the truth, even about small things, and notice how it feels to be genuine.
  2. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts! Try to explore any underlying beliefs or fears that may be driving your lying behavior (you can do this with a therapist too!).

I’m also sorry to hear that your experience with the school counselor didn’t meet your needs, and I understand how that might have made it harder for you to trust seeking help again. However, there are other professionals out there who are dedicated to supporting you, and I want to encourage you to consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor again.

I would really like you to reach out to a nearby Family Service Centre (find one near your home) and also to try any of these online options:

In the meantime, please let us know how you’re doing now and whether you’ve reached out to any professional (as shared above). Hear from you soon.

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