I lie because I think about how others would actually react if I told them the ugly truth. Today I lied to my parents about studying even though I didn’t due to burnout. I’ve said lies worse than that one.
Hi @Mafuna345,
Thank you for opening up—it takes courage to share something like this, especially when you’re feeling conflicted about it. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot right now, and I want to take a moment to acknowledge how hard it must be to juggle your own feelings while worrying about how others might react.
From what you’ve shared, it seems like lying feels like a way to protect yourself from potential judgement or disappointment from others, especially your parents. Experiencing burnout may make it difficult to find the energy to study or meet expectations.
Would you say the fear of how others might react makes it harder to be honest, even when you want to be?
It’s important to note that your awareness of these patterns and your willingness to reflect on them is a huge step toward understanding yourself better. This self-awareness can be a powerful tool for growth.
Feeling this way and not having all the answers right now are acceptable. Lying might feel like the easiest option in the moment, especially when you’re feeling burnt out, but it sounds like it’s leaving you with a sense of discomfort too. Let’s sit with that for a bit—can you recall when you first noticed this pattern of avoiding difficult truths? Sometimes understanding when and why it started can help make sense of it.
Even in this tough situation, you’ve shown strengths that are worth highlighting:
- Self-Awareness: You’re able to recognise your patterns of behaviour and reflect on their impact, which is an important step toward change.
- Empathy: Your concern about others’ reactions shows that you care deeply about how your actions affect those around you.
- Resilience: Despite feeling burnt out, you’re finding ways to navigate your emotions and seeking insight, which shows persistence.
These qualities are valuable and will support you as you work through this.
If you feel ready, here are some questions to explore together:
- What does honesty mean to you in these moments? Could being honest sometimes feel like it would hurt more than help?
- How could you communicate burnout to someone you trust without feeling overwhelmed? Would it help to frame it in terms of needing support rather than explaining everything at once?
- What would make honesty feel safer for you?
If it feels manageable, perhaps we could focus on small steps—like finding one thing to share honestly with someone you trust. Even if it’s just a small truth, it can be a step toward building confidence in expressing yourself.
Burnout and fear of judgement can make honesty feel heavy, but this doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Progress is about taking small steps toward understanding yourself and finding ways to be authentic without feeling overwhelmed. You’re already showing the bravery and insight needed to start that journey.
Let us know how you’re feeling, and we can explore this further together. You’re not alone in this. Take care,
I’ll try out your advice. You’re so helpful and thank you so much. 
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Hello @mafuna345! I understand that sometimes we tell white lies in order to not hurt others’ feelings but also cover up for ourselves. Let’s just say it’s not entirely bad, but it’s better if we were to tell them the truth. Since you sort of have a rough gauge on how many white lies you usually tell, you might want to gradually cut down. Sometimes the truth may hurt, but it might be better for the other party too. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes; nobody are perfect! All the best!!