There’s no good way to share this because I feel like I made bad decisions and it is bothering me since. My partner and I had many fights and as neither of us were in a good state to resolve issues, he asked to resolve the fights only after his stressful period. So our fights accumulated. At a point, unsure of what exactly attributed to it because there are many external things going on, I reached a burnout - feeling apathy, exhausted and demotivated. I did try (in a mild attempt) to communicate it to the people around me, including my family and friends, by saying I am exhausted, but maybe due to their own situations, my words were minimized and unheard. As such, I started avoiding everyone around me. I probably ruminated on this relationship and due to a warped perspective that perhaps the relationship was the reason of my exhaustion, I communicated that I want to take a break to focus on me. Yet ever since the break, I felt worse and guilty for the selfish decision. I still feel burned out and as he was my support, I want to confide in him whenever he reaches out. As I am trying to work through the burnout, is it selfish of me to want support from him? I am so bothered by this decision making like I want to go ahead and reach out but I fear of making a bad decision that harms the people around me. What is the right thing to do?
Hi @donut
First of all, thank you for sharing your struggles here on this platform, your concerns are real and valid - we are here to journey with you.
I can see that you’ve been going through a challenging time, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling conflicted about the decisions you’ve made. Burnout can really impact our ability to make clear decisions, and it seems like you’ve been doing your best to work through a difficult situation.
I think that it’s important for you to know that seeking support is not selfish. Everyone goes through tough times, and reaching out for help is a healthy and necessary part of managing our well-being. In a relationship, it’s normal to lean on each other for support during challenging periods. It’s okay to communicate your feelings and share what you’re going through.
Considering your burnout and the impact it has had on your relationship, it might be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Let him know what you’ve been experiencing, both emotionally and physically, and express your need for support. Relationships are a partnership, and being vulnerable with each other can strengthen your connection.
It’s also important to prioritize your own well-being during this time. If you feel that your burnout is affecting your ability to make decisions, please consider seeking support from a mental health professional who can support you emotionally. Here are some options that are affordable or even free of charge:
- Family Service Centres (Find one nearest to your home!)
- Online options -
- Limitless : Talk To Someone - Limitless
- CPH chat : https://www.cphonlinecounselling.sg/hc/en-us
- IMH CHAT : Home - CHAT
- ec2.sg : https://fycs.org/ec2-sg
Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s a very important aspect of maintaining overall health. Do let us know how you’re doing and update us about your situation - hear from you soon!