I’ve a bad case of bulimia and its taking over my life everyday. Its been going on for years. I spend hours binging and purging everyday and around $100 each day on binge foods just to purge.
I have isolated myself from everyone because i rather stay home to binge purge than go out and meet people. All i do is exercise , binge and purge.
How do i end this. What can i do to break the cycle.
They say ‘distract urself or do other things that make u happy’ but any moment alone, even if its 1h, i can just binge purge again. Doesnt help that im addicted to exercise and have bad body image too, so exercise for me is already excessive and cant really be used as a gd coping tool. I also have amenorrhea from this for about 2.5 years. Please help me
Hi @user5913, thank you for sharing this so openly, it takes a lot of courage to put words to something that has been controlling your life for years. From what you’ve described, the cycle of bingeing, purging, and overexercising has taken over not only your health, but also your social life and daily routines. It makes sense that you feel trapped and exhausted, because bulimia isn’t just about willpower but a serious illness that rewires how your mind and body respond to stress, emotions, and food.
I can hear that you’ve tried common advice like “distracting yourself,” but when the urges are so strong, it doesn’t feel realistic or effective. That doesn’t mean you’re weak but means this condition needs proper, structured support. The fact that you’ve had amenorrhea for 2.5 years shows that your body has been under a lot of stress, and this is something that deserves urgent medical attention.
The most important step right now is not to face this alone. Bulimia can be dangerous, but with the right help, recovery is possible. If professional therapy feels overwhelming or inaccessible, maybe you could consider reaching out to a doctor first. You don’t have to share every detail at once, but even saying, “I’ve been bingeing and purging daily and I’m worried about my health” is enough to start.
You can also try small, practical shifts. Sometimes, the first goal isn’t “stopping completely” but reducing intensity like shortening exercise time slightly, or delaying a purge by a few minutes. These micro-steps slowly weaken the cycle.
I know you’re asking “How do I end this?” and the truth is, it’s not something you can just switch off, it’s a recovery journey. But reaching out like you just did is already a step toward breaking free 
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Hi @user5913 thanks for sharing:heart_hands:It seems like you’re going through a really tough time and it must be so difficult to repeatedly go through the same cycles of binge and exercise, guilt and escapism…I’ve had some experience with anorexia as well and I wouldn’t say I’ve completely recovered and it’s always going to be a work in progress even after years of trying and failing, so know that you really aren’t alone in this:mending_heart: I find that EDs are not so simple that you can just make your bad feelings go away and ‘fix’ yourself by coping differently. It’s never that simple. But that doesn’t mean you can’t break out of the cycle. You will, trust me:heart:
but it definitely takes time…and I’m with you on this journey too:growing_heart:
Some things that helped me was finding someone to talk to about my emotions rather than ‘numbing’ or ‘burying’ them with food🫂
You can also consider contact any of the helplines available in mindline, I think talking to a professional would be really helpful to find the root cause of perhaps any emotions or thoughts that trigger the binge eating.
So instead of isolating yourself maybe hang out with your family and friends? You deserve to spend quality time with them
PLEASE be kind to yourself and always remember that progress will never be linear, there will be relapses, sometimes it will feel like you’re back to square one and you can’t move forward…but continue to have faith in yourself because that this what will help you through this recovery 
plus beating yourself up for binging will only make you feel worse and more likely to fall back into the unhealthy habits, be patient kay:heart_hands:
feel free to share more, I’ll be here to listen and we can heal together 
Hi there @user5913 thank you for sharing about this painful cycle you have been in. What you’re going through sounds so distressing, that it feels like an endless cycle that you want to end but just can’t. It’s scary, but you’re not alone and the cycle can be broken. I’m glad you reached out here to get some support
The urges sound really strong, especially when you’re alone. It does sound easy to say “just distract yourself and do happy things” but it is really hard when the urge hits. I’m wondering if it’ll be more helpful to work with the triggers you have identified. So for example, if a trigger is being alone, to look out for pockets of time you’ll be alone and prepare the distractions or activities ahead of time. It’s also normal to have moments where it doesn’t work, but overtime, there may be some success too, so don’t give up!
Most of all, if you’re receiving professional support, keep them updated. That’s what they are there for. And if you’re not, I encourage you to seek mental health support from a psychologist. It may be daunting but they are there to help, and want to help you. Rooting for you to break the cycle
Hey @user5913. Thank you for trusting us for something so vulnerable. The way you’ve described your experience shows how much insight you already have into the cycle you’re in, and that takes real strength.
I can relate to that feeling of, “why do I do this when I know better?” It’s so frustrating when your head and your actions don’t match up. But truthfully, that doesn’t make you weak at all. It just means you’re human, and you’ve been surviving with the only coping tool your body knew. And that part of you who asked “how do I end this?” is so important. It means you haven’t given up, even after years of struggle.
But hey, the good news is that the part of you that posted here already knows you want different. That’s huge, brave step forward!
Maybe one way forward is to gently shift the focus. Instead of putting all the pressure on “stopping everything right now,” you could start by simply noticing your patterns with more kindness. For example, not just tracking binges or purges, but also noting the moments when the urge feels a little less intense, or when you chose something different, even for a few minutes. These tiny shifts can add up over time and help you see progress in ways you might not notice otherwise.
You don’t need to “fix it all” today. Even something as small as pressing pause before acting on the urge, maybe taking 3 deep breaths or sipping water, or texting a friend counts as win. Tiny steps add up. They really do. Just keep giving yourself credit for the moments you do fight back the urge, even if they seem small. They matter too. And so do you.
Please be gentle and kind with yourself as you move through this, okay? We’re all really rooting for you, and I hope you can hold onto the truth that you matter just as much as your healing does 
Dear @user5913
Thank you for reaching out here. I can see that you are hurting badly and it has been deeply challenging to break free from the current cycle you are in. It is totally understandable that this pattern of eating, purging and exercise has been dissatisfying and has already affected many aspects of life including health and relationships. Please do not be discouraged, dear.
To your credit, you already demonstrate a lot of self awareness that the current cycle cannot continue. In addition I sense that you are motivated to break out from this cycle. Hence you are exploring ways to achieve this freedom. These are good first steps to take in your path to recovery.
I came across these and suggest you can explore them:
Both programmes offer comprehensive and thorough approaches in treating you step by step.
May I also suggest you can consider speaking to a therapist who is specialising in treating eating disorders. They could help you identify negative beliefs&thoughts, triggers and behaviours that are sustaining the cycle. Next they can help you figure out alternative behaviours that are healthier and can enhance your self acceptance and improve health and body image. Slowly but surely, you can choose how to response in a healthy ways when these negative thoughts/ beliefs hit.
Do consider the above and continue to reach out here whenever needed for support. You can see how supportive this community is; everyone here encourages you in your recovery journey.
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