Hello! I have posted another post on this site about how i have been consistently feeling anxiety and physical symptoms and those got in the way of my academic life and work. Someone suggested me to get professional help but i didn’t have enough time to get one since i was busy with both intern and school assignments.
Last week, I had a very important presentation about the internship as a final year student. I knew it was important but I never practiced. So much important that might determine my future. I knew I needed to practice but did not do it when i had a day to do so. I simply could notbring myself to take action and just wanted it to be over. I tried practicing in the taxi on the way to school but it was not enough. I only slept 4 hours that day and i couldn’t focus at all. I was panting the whole time when i present and i think i blew it. I know it was all my fault. The worst about this is i didn’t take any action although i had ideas and i knew i had to practice. It’s been too much pain for me to relive that moment every time i work since my presentation was about my work. I didn’t sleep last night and still am suffering from chest tightness.
I know there’s no excuse for my mistakes but I still do want to feel better and not feel pain and regrets anymore. I already requested a counseling service from school but it might take until weekends. Honestly, the results are not out yet and i might still get an A, but I just kept thinking so negatively.
I saw online that it’s my own responsibility to deal with my emotions and some people say to just move on, but I can’t help but the thought of that presentation just come back all of a sudden and got me feel pain over and over again. Please give advice how to cope with this. Thank you so much.
Thank you for reaching out here. I can sense how unhappy you are feeling as you reflect on what has been happening. Understandably, it is causing you much pain, anxiety and regret.
Please be compassionate to yourself. I believe you genuinely cared about preparing well but you were gripped with anxiety and overwhelmed that you could not. I have observed that during times of extreme anxiety, our response could be to freeze into extreme inactivity even though there is awareness that action is required. I gather the sentence “I knew I had to practice but couldn’t make myself do it” describes such an anxiety response.
I think your nervous system is still on heightened alert which is causing chest tightness, difficulty sleeping, and replaying the presentation repeatedly. Your brain is stuck trying to undo and fix the past, even though it can’t so it keeps hurting you instead.
May I suggest the following that may help:
Be kind to yourself: You can acknowledge the mistake without punishing yourself. Shame only keeps the pain going.
Calm your body first: slow breathing, a hand on your chest, grounding yourself in the present. This matters more than “thinking positively” right now.
When the memory comes back, try telling yourself: “That was painful, but it’s over. I’m safe right now.” Then gently return to what you’re doing.
I’m glad you are requesting counselling. That tells me that you are taking care of yourself. And remember, you don’t know the results yet. Anxiety tends to have that effect of drawing the worst possible outcome.
You don’t need to “just move on.” You deserve support, rest, and understanding. You are therefore taking a good first step to by speaking to the counsellor soon.
Thank you for reaching out on this platform. I hear that you’ve been struggling with your feelings over the presentation from your internship, even till now. It sounds that it has been really tough on you, in which you have been feeling chest tightness and constant thoughts of the presentation. However, I would also like to point out the fact that you reached out for counselling and that you want to feel better shows that you want to take care of yourself and that you want to improve, which is a great first step that requires a lot of strength.
With regards to how to cope with it, maybe you could try distracting yourself with something else, like music or doing your hobbies, if the feelings get overwhelming? I also think that being kind to yourself is important. The fact that you showed up for the presentation and even practised for it in the taxi on the way despite the overwhelming anxiety you were feeling at the time shows that you care about it. This shows that you had the intent to do well, but maybe you could not do your best due to the anxiety you were feeling at the time. And that’s okay. Sometimes we mess up, but that’s what makes us human Would you be open to trying to tell yourself this should the negative thoughts come?
Would you be open to trying to tell yourself this should the negative thoughts come?