so I have always been curious because, during counseling, the counselor will always mention how if I said certain things, confidentiality has to be broken…and that’s things like suicidal ideation, or any plans which I kind of understand. However, I do struggle with suicidal thoughts and have some plans on execution but when asked, I often have to deny especially having any plans because I don’t want anyone else to be involve… I just want to get better by myself. so when the counselor explains to me why he/she ask this certain question to decide if confidentiality should be broken, I would obviously have to deny but at the same time, I feel bad because I am lying to myself and yea… idk. I just find it a little odd that how can one be honest when the counselor straight up told you that confidentiality will be broken once you share that. I may be thinking too much but it feels as though like the counsellor is warning me that (think carefully of what you share with me, i’ve warned you that if you shared this, im telling someone) and that means i probably shouldn’t disclose my honest thoughts…idk. Also, on the side note, I find it super hard to answer when someone ask “are you ok?” like…i know im not but I can’t say that because i feel that people always asked that expecting you to say “yea im ok” etc. and when you answer “no, im not ok” they will become speechless too and idk probably regret asking that question. so its super hard for me like to even answer that simple question because if i say im fine, im once again lying to myself and i feel so shitty after like why can’t i just share with someone that “no, im feeling shitty” or smth. so everytime shits gets bad, i tend to isolate myself and have no energy to deal with other things (eg. msg friends, hanging out etc) and always having to say im fine even though im not…its really quite tiring.
Hi user1321
Thank you for courageously bringing up this issue and seeking ways to manage it better. Your uncertainty is fully understandable. Please do not feel alone and take heart that many of us have experienced similar experiences at some point.
I agree that it may feel uncomfortable sharing your suicidal thoughts with your counsellor and it can be challenging, but there are strategies to help ease this process.
Counsellors are trained to handle discussions about suicidal thoughts without judgment. They aim to create a safe environment where you can express your feelings openly. Remember, their primary goal is to help you, not to punish or isolate you for your thoughts.
While confidentiality is a cornerstone of therapy, counsellors are obligated to break it only if they believe you are in imminent danger. This usually involves assessing the severity of your thoughts and whether you have a specific plan to act on them.
Understanding this can help alleviate fears about sharing.
If you feel discomfort in disclosing, start small. I recommend you can start by discussing your feelings in general terms. You might say something like, “I’ve been feeling really low lately,” before gradually revealing more specific thoughts as you feel comfortable.
Express your concerns openly, let your counsellor know that you’re worried about how they might react if you share certain thoughts. This can open a dialogue about confidentiality and help establish trust and rapport.
If speaking about your feelings feels too daunting, consider writing them down beforehand. You can share this note with your counsellor at the beginning of the session, which may help ease the pressure of verbalizing these thoughts directly.
Creating a Safety Plan
Collaborate on a Safety Plan: Discussing and developing a safety plan with your counsellor can provide structure and reassurance. This plan outlines steps to take when you experience suicidal thoughts and includes coping strategies and emergency contacts.
Reassurance of Support: Remind yourself that discussing these thoughts is a step toward healing. Your counsellor will work with you to find ways to manage these feelings safely without immediately resorting to drastic measures like hospitalization unless absolutely necessary.
Enhancing Communication Skills
Practice Responses: Prepare responses for common questions like “Are you okay?” This might involve saying something like, “I’m struggling right now but working on it” instead of feeling pressured to say you’re fine.
Focus on Feelings: When discussing your thoughts with your counsellor, focus on how you’re feeling rather than the specifics of the thoughts themselves initially. This can help ease into deeper conversations over time.
Seeking Additional Support
Reach Out Beyond Therapy: Consider talking to trusted friends or family members about how you’re feeling. This can provide additional support and make it easier to discuss similar feelings in therapy.
By taking these steps, you can gradually build comfort in sharing your suicidal thoughts with your counsellor, fostering a more open and productive therapeutic relationship. Over the longer term, I foresee a strong partnership formed on trust and compassion. 
Its good that u wanna heal. U having concrete plans to unalive is concerning but i take it that since u want to heal from these thoughts then there isnt a need to disclose. Just concentrate w ur counsellor about ur suicidal thoughts, would be even better it its w a therapist. As for sharing w frens, it depends on how close u r w ur frens. I share parts of it w my frens but i also assure that its not their job tohelp me since i was getting professional help. I went thru the other route where i attempted, hospitalised then recieve help. Partly cuz i didnt knoe what i was feeling was real depression