It’s gonna be long…but i appreciate there’s a rant section here.
I am taking o lvls this year. Yes i know we’re supposed to be stressed and all, but it’s already end of june hols, haven’t gotten ANY homework done. You see, i used to be good in academics, pri school and sec 1-sec 2 have been a breeze in academics only.
Never gotten past the fact that i got weight management, friendship and social anxiety issues.
Damn i suck but i find myself thinking of other things. How do people do things productively? I be wanting to read a book but my mind floods with so many things. Sorry for broken english ah but
Things like no friends, being stupid cuz i keep failing my grades, trying to be mature, maintaining hygiene. Like so many dumb silly things come into my head and like i used to be so carefree and happy.
Now i keep eating a LOT thinking it gives me energy but i just be sleeping the rest of the day. I dont know why teachers dont care, like cant they see im struggling? But ppl say teachers also have their own lives then how do I keep living like this in mental torture whe they go hooray travel to other countries? I want to travel around the world too but when I go out i keep thinking about o levels like i will fail.
Till now i havent studied and i think im screwed. My parents have been good to me, but i dont want to lose myself. Im so tired of living in blank space. Im always thinking of myself. Outside, im doing nothing but walking and wasting my time thinking. Im very tired of life i dont know why life is like this to me.
I used to love school but now i drag my shoes heck i dont even want to leave my house.
I cant even fathom why im still alive. Like im so tired when im doing absolutely nothing. It’s driving me insane and even having to put up a facade to other people. I want to study i really do but i cant DO IT.
I wish i had friends, i wish someone was with me to be a mentor.
But im freaking poor and i have attachment issues. I wish God will look at me and sympathise with me. My life’s a flipping mess and i’m just hanging on for the sake of not feeling the torture of afterlife.
Im so scared of what’s to come. I dont wanna fail. ITE, Poly or JC. I’d still be fricking depressed bro. I just dont want to do anything but I dont want to become a failure.
My mind’s messed up, my mentality is haywire and I think o levels will not be a breeze.
I wish i hadn’t even entered the express stream. I wasn’t even capable in the first place. I got here because I memorised textbooks, not because i even understood anything. Why am i still here.
I just want my old childhood self back. I hate myself now.
hey @Tin_56 I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I feel like…I understand what you mean by wishing you hadn’t entered the express stream; I transferred from N(A) to express back then, and part of me still wonders if it was the right choice. I know this might be hard to hear now, or not something you want to hear, but focusing on what’s important to you and your future career can make a big difference. You’ve made it this far in life and through secondary education. What’s another few months until O-Levels? After that, you’ll have some time to gather your thoughts and recenter yourself.
Consider what you enjoy and where your interests lie—maybe there’s a course in Poly that excites you and aligns with your passions. Even if JC or Poly seems daunting, having those options is empowering. You might feel unhappy now, but knowing you did your best can give you a sense of accomplishment and open doors for the future.
Take care of yourself during this time. Find small moments of joy, talk to someone you trust, and remember that it’s okay to ask for help. You’re stronger than you think, and this period of struggle is just one chapter in your life. You have the ability to navigate through this, and brighter days are ahead.
Also, sometimes, it might help to recognise what’s under your control and what’s not. We can’t change how others treat us or what things happen, but we can change our actions and how we react to things. Remember, in everything we do, we have a choice and a say.
For work, have you tried the Pomodoro method or the 1-2-3 method to study? Motivation doesn’t come by itself, you need to build momentum and the start is always difficult. But remember, you’re not a failure just because you couldn’t get started. What’s important is that you have the next minute, the next hour, the next quadrant of the day, and even the next day to make the choice to try again.
Jiayous!
Thank you, your responses are sufficient to my problems haha…i appreciate your support! Please pray for me (if u’re religious)
hey, i’m not sure how good advice i can give, but i just want to say i know how you’re feeling. similar to what you said, i also breezed through my primary sch and lower sec life. upper sec was a nightmare on its own. in sec 3 and 4 i was failing many of my subjects and was so afraid of os. personally i just had to find the motivation to study. my motivation stemmed from wanting to prove to my teachers that i wasn’t dumb 
(they wanted me to drop a subject i was failing in but there were multiple subjects i was failing in) maybe you could find some kind of motivation? i know it’s hard but tbh memorizing the textbook cld still work for os. i managed to last minute cram for os and did reasonably well. so don’t give up hope! (my advice tho: don’t go jc 
im in jc and the last minute cram approach doesn’t work)
all the best for everything!! you got this ok 
Thank you so much! It’s refreshing to know the memorising method might still work. I will try to find some motivation. I appreciate your advice it’s comforting. I’ll try to do anything i can just to pass o levels!