Hi so this is regarding a relationship issue. I had some issues with my boyfriend regarding his elder sister. She came to Singapore for awhile and had to leave after a month or so. In that period of time she really wanted to meet me. I was only dating my bf for 3 months at that period. It felt weird that she didn’t give me space. Like I was in his toilet once and she came barging in to knock on my toilet door to see me. Later my boyfriend told me that he had to carry her outside of the room and he laughed about it. I thought that it was extremely weird. He’s 21 and she’s 24. Is this normal? When I told one of this lady who was a psychologist she mentioned that it could be sibling enmeshment. There’s a lot more to this story that I’ve yet to add on. (Told this to the psychologist lady but yah lost touch with her)
Mind u I didn’t talk to her in that period when she came to sg as I wasn’t comfortable yet
Hi @strawberrycake, thanks for sharing! It does sound like your boyfriend and his sister have a very close relationship. It is tough to say if this is a case of sibling enmeshment as each pair of siblings is different, so what may be normal to them might not be normal to you.
Because this happened during your 3rd month into the relationship, I’m wondering if this could be a case of misunderstanding intentions. For example, perhaps his sister was simply excited to meet you and did not consider that she was overstepping physical boundaries and making you uncomfortable as a result.
Nonetheless, you may wish to communicate how you felt to your boyfriend and establish some boundaries for the future. It might also help to have a conversation with his sister the next time you see her to clear things up and get to know her better.