Narcissistic Father that’s stubborn to change nor mentally friendly to “talk” with.
Mother Equally so just with a foreign touch.
How does one deal with it?
Dear @Unbeknownst77
That sounds like a tough situation to be in, and I want to acknowledge the emotional weight of dealing with difficult family dynamics, especially when open and supportive communication isn’t an option. It’s frustrating and exhausting when the people who are supposed to offer love and understanding instead make you feel unheard or dismissed.
One thing to remember is that you can’t change others, but you can change how you respond to them. It might help to focus on setting boundaries—not just physical, but emotional ones as well. You don’t have to absorb their negativity or engage in arguments that lead nowhere. If conversations tend to escalate or drain you, it’s okay to step away, limit interactions, or choose what topics you engage in.
Another thing that might help is finding an outlet outside of your family—whether that’s close friends, a trusted mentor, or even a therapist. Having people who truly listen and support you can make all the difference in feeling less isolated.
If direct conversations with them are difficult, sometimes written communication (like texts or letters) can be a way to express yourself without immediate backlash. And if you ever feel overwhelmed, remind yourself that your peace matters too—it’s okay to put yourself first.
You deserve to be in an environment that nurtures your well-being, and if that’s not possible right now, know that in time, you’ll be able to create a life where you are surrounded by people who respect and value you. Hang in there, and take small steps toward protecting your mental and emotional space. Do continue reaching out for the support you need. 
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I know you mean well, but it has come to a point the only way to help me keep my sanity and well-being in check is to do a permanent no contact route.
Father is beyond help with his narcissism and closet gambling habits.
Mother unfortunately picked up the gambling habit too and due to my father’s denial/failure to realise what kind of person he is has also become narcissistic.
We have already lost our family home a long time ago due to his habits and poor money management, it does not seem to bother him one bit and he has squandered the proceeds from the sale of it away.
I stay with them whenever they find a new place to rent on/off ( because my mother claims she feels lonely at times and asks me to come home ) , father is always refusing to let me back home unless my mother somehow convinces him.
This time I feel it’s the last time I can handle this sort of emotional harassment and that I would need to move out and find some place to stay.
It stresses me out that I have to keep moving around and I don’t have a permanent place to call home, been like this since my father sold the house away, staying with kind friends or finding unsavoury dirt cheap room sharing rentals where I’ve had belongings stolen and bed space soiled by roommates.
So so tough, don’t know how long I can keep this tough person act on for.
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Dear @Unbeknownst77
Thank you for sharing further information on what you are enduring. It sounds you are enduring instability, emotional strain, and deep exhaustion that comes from living in such a situation. It’s completely understandable that you’ve reached a point where going no contact feels like the only way to protect yourself—and that is absolutely valid. Prioritising your own sanity, well-being, and stability is not selfish; it’s necessary.
It must be incredibly painful to feel like you don’t have a stable place to call home, especially after everything you’ve already been through with your father’s gambling and your mother’s choices. Constantly moving, dealing with unsafe living conditions, and feeling emotionally manipulated—it’s a lot for anyone to bear. The fact that you’ve held on this long speaks volumes about your strength, but you shouldn’t have to “act tough” forever. You deserve real peace, real security, and real support.
If cutting ties is what will give you the space to heal and build your own life, then that’s a courageous step. But I know the practical reality of leaving is daunting too. Would it help to start mapping out a plan—even just small steps toward securing a more stable, independent living situation? I suggest you approach the nearest family services centre.
You don’t have to carry this burden all by yourself, and you don’t have to be “tough” all the time. It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to feel lost. But please, don’t lose sight of yourself in all of this. You are so much more than the circumstances you were born into, and you deserve a life where you feel safe, valued, and free. If there’s anyone—friends, colleagues, or even support groups—who can help, don’t hesitate to lean on them. You’ve already endured so much, and you are worthy of stability and peace. One step at a time, you will get there.
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It is nice to see this advice brought up for me and I would not say it is bad, it is generally good and heartfelt.
Stark reality is, I can only explain and hope friend’s and people/professional understands from my shoes, none if not all the people I know or have in my circle of friends that I have are in the situation to understand the plight and degree of severity i have to go through.
It is perplexing and often times brushed of as wild to people who I explain my situation to, it weighs down on me that I’ve drawn a very short straw in this life.
I have had dreams and wishful plans to further my educations before but with this situation, I’m only able to work to survive.
The paralysing element of feelings is just so unnecessary.
I wish I did not have any emotions to start with, I might have made it somewhere, ehtically or unethically.
I wish i had seeked helped earlier when I was still at the right age for foster care.
How I wish I could turn back time.
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Dealing with narcissistic family members is tough. My family members’ narcissistic traits have never seemed so daunting to deal with till now and given the chance I too will resort to moving out/ distancing myself from my family. These tendencies don’t seem to subside in the short run, so seeking help from external family/ friends/ colleagues will prove useful. Personally, to stop ruminating about these problems I tend to talk fun things (hobbies, current affairs *ps. compared to dealing toxic people, they are much worth it, etcetera). It helps protect my energy which is very crucial while dealing with these types of people. I also find taking public transport for my daily commute helpful, because we tend to observe people from different walks of life with different behaviours and mannerisms. These tend to refresh our social perspective of life.
it will be daunting to face these people on a day-to-day basis, but try to find one compelling motivating factor in life, that can help you go ahead. It’s never too late to ask for help, and even the most smallest acts of kindness can make living worthwhile! Don’t worry! You’ve got this!