I am tired. This has been going on for years.
I strive to be the best daughter that I could in every aspect. But why do you always have to find fault with me? Even when I am not “rude” towards you?
I never asked to be born. Why must there always be a problem between us? I envy my friends who have healthy relationships with their dads and can be best friends.
Why do people still defend you? Just because you hold the title “father”, it justifies your words and actions towards me?
Hi @Cherrye,
Thank you for sharing this with such openness. I can sense the exhaustion and frustration in your words and how long you’ve been carrying these feelings. Wanting a healthy relationship with your father is natural, and it sounds like you’ve put a lot of effort into being the best daughter you can be. This takes a great deal of strength, even when you do not feel acknowledged or reciprocated.
From what you have described, I sense that you feel hurt when those efforts are met with criticism or when others fail to understand your perspective. You deserve respect and kindness in all your relationships. The conflict between wanting to love someone deeply and also feeling hurt by them. Please know that these feelings don’t make you any less of a good person or daughter.
The years of striving to meet expectations, only to feel as if your efforts fall short, have likely impacted your sense of worth. It’s also understandable to feel isolated when those around you seem to support your father’s behavior. This sense of being misunderstood or invalidated by others can make it even harder to process the hurt. Please know that your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be heard and supported without judgment.
Please give yourself grace during this process. Take each day at your own pace, and remember that you don’t have to have everything figured out all at once. Support is here for you, and you deserve relationships where you feel valued, heard, and respected. You are enough, just as you are, and there is space for your feelings and experiences to be honored fully.
Hey @cherrye Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s heartbreaking to feel like you’ve tried so hard, year after year, only to be met with criticism and misunderstanding. You’re putting so much effort into being a good daughter, yet it feels like it’s never enough. That longing for a healthy, close relationship with your dad is natural, especially when you see others have it. It’s painful to feel that disconnect and even more so when people around you defend him simply because of his role.
Your feelings are valid, and wanting respect, love, and understanding doesn’t make you ungrateful or wrong. It’s okay to feel hurt and frustrated. You deserve to be seen and valued for the person you are, not just for how well you fit someone else’s expectations. It’s hard to carry that weight alone, and I’m here if you need a space to share more or just feel heard.
Hello @cherrye 
! Thank you for taking the courage to share your feelings 
.
You seem to have been carrying a lot for a very long period, and that is very difficult. You have worked so hard to be a good daughter, to connect, and to build a loving connection; it is normal to feel wounded when that effort is not seen or valued. Particularly in cases where one feels that expectations or understanding are not in line, family connections may be challenging.
Being discounted—especially from someone close—can be lonely. Even if he is your father, your emotions are entirely appropriate and it is normal to feel let down and irritated. Sometimes individuals fail to see the effect of their words or deeds; sadly, these dynamics take time to change.
Recall that you are allowed to establish limits and give your emotional health first priority. Like you are presently doing, reaching out is a positive approach.