At times i dislike senior citizens becos ive emo immature thick skulled dictator at home. Over small matters he wld do emo blackmail n threats.
I wun cry, i will yell back. The prob is not gd for my gut health. Such ppl are selfish, cant stand them, and they dun think of others
My counselors advise me to ignore if not v major issue. But the douche purposely provoke. How do y’all cope if u got fam like this?
Hey @Fenrispro Dealing with a family member like that is incredibly draining, especially when their behavior feels manipulative or selfish. It’s hard to stay calm when someone pushes your buttons on purpose, and yelling back, while it might feel like a release, can take a toll on your emotional and physical health over time. I’m sorry you’re in this situation—it sounds soooo exhausting and hurtful.
Your counselors’ advice to ignore smaller issues makes sense in theory, but I get that it’s much harder in practice when the person seems to provoke you intentionally. It’s like they know how to get under your skin, and that can feel so unfair. Sometimes, I try this method: instead of full-on ignoring, I would try responding in a way that doesn’t give them the reaction they’re looking for—like staying calm, saying something neutral like, “I don’t want to argue,” and walking away. It’s not easy, but it can help protect my energy.
For coping, finding ways to create some distance, even if it’s just emotional, is really important. I try setting boundaries—even small ones, like deciding not to engage in certain arguments or stepping away when things escalate. And when I can, I lean on things that help me recharge, like spending time with people who lift me up or doing something that makes me feel in control again, like exercising or playing an instrument, or just completing a certain task.
It’s okay to prioritize your well-being and find ways to protect your peace, even when it feels hard. You’re doing the best you can in a tough situation.
@Enie Thanku for yr reply 
I will try yr suggestions. I cope by gaming, i love writing and using the tv as barrier against the constant grumbles.
So u also got challenging fam members?
Personally I nev wear masks to friends, thats why ppl like me my 120% sincerity is a strong trait.
I Dun ever wanna be hypocrite
Hi @Fenrispro sorry I have been busy lately and forgot to log on here. Thanks for letting me know more about yourself! Gaming sounds like a good coping mechanism actually, I tend to use social media and dramas to drown out the negativity as well.
It’s sad to hear that you are living with someone who doesn’t give you enough respect, and honestly, you don’t deserve that!
I used to have challenging moments with my fam members, but it has been better these few years after some major incidents and I’m grateful for that.
I admire your sincerity and being so genuine towards your relationships despite living in this situation, it is no easy feat indeed. I’m glad the experience you have now will make you stronger and an even better person rather than the opposite way. Proud of you and feel free to chat more here! I’ll reply when I log on~
Its ok i ustand. @Enie Thanku for yr encouragement. Yes it has made me stronger, jus that i often get IBS from conflicts. I rather have a heart of stone
Yea its really tough coz such boomers old Gen dun change. Its unfair when we are sensitive, i was also mad becos not like he so “wei da” - when we stil in sch he suddenly dw to work then have the gall to expect me to do things.
■■■■ bugger.
Hey @Fenrispro Glad to here it makes you stronger, that’s the spirit I admire. Yea it’s such asian parents or old generation typical mindset, at one point I find it hypocritical or double standards most of the time. However, I have acknowledged that I cannot change them due to their nature, so I’m trying to change how I react or my mindset. As they always say when we get mad, we are the ones suffering not them.
Love your spirit and I hope only good things come your way in the future! Hang in there!!!
@Enie How have u been? Tod i manage to tune out fogey’s illogical critiques-- im usu grumpy in morns, i wanto watch tv, eat then got ready for work. Now i set up my small xmas tree but never turn on the lights 24h. the douche moved it high up >: BAD habit when we not in always meddle stuff!
I stick it down with blue tack, its not Our things that fire hazard. How rude
u said: asian parents or old generation typical mindset, at one point I find it hypocritical or double standards — that’s why! Im reading a YA novel written by Jesse Sutanto, she writes as comedy. Relatable, hm but in that the protag does feel loved
Hi @Fenrispro Thanks for checking up on me and sorry for the late reply. I just went through an important interview that I have been preparing for days…but it’s over now and here I am!
Sweet! I like how you manage to tune out those critiques because that is NOT EASY, so props to you damn. Sometimes people and especially authorities from us act this way, and I realized it’s really up to us how we can change our actions and mindset. I like how you set that boundary to protect your small xmas tree (so cute btw!). Seems like you are slowly trying to set boundaries and change your mindset about things, and tbh I’m so proud of you for that!
Interesting novel! I should look that up as well. Sometimes reading such relatable stories feel good as well!
Since many days have past (sry for that again!), how have you been feeling?
@Enie Oh u are job searching? Good luck. Yea we had big tree but now no space.
Um how am i feeling? I was ok on wkends pampered myself, ate nice food, gamed. Helped that ■■■■ went out for longer time. He wun say where he goes, if take bag means wil be longer. More peace
Miss the times when he was fulltime, it was so blissful bro and me played games on wkends without him making noise (he nev pay the bill we paying) that waste ‘current’ Govt alw encourage seniors lifelong learning, this ■■■■ lazy say old alr dun have to.
As if not engh BS, these mths realised his investm got some ■■■■ happening, stuck. Without regard if we wanto hear, mum has chronic high Bp - at this rate i may get too he keeps complaining cant get his way. 
Alw been the type who naively listen to outsiders and dun listen to his wife.
I mean he dun respect me fine at least for fucks sake use logic. Nope no logic, and unlike celebs who got properties to burn some more say wanto go court, find lawyers.
Such delusional old folk Zero wisdom. Its festive period he dun behave normally some more wanto do ■■■■? Twisted ego. Only ppl whom he listened were my late gran and a retired social wker who house visited, said hardcore sorts alw tell lies. Yea he wld go around telling relatives hes *poor but nev stop obsessing over lottery. Poor shouldn even go to the Pools 
He better die asap - yea i do hate him -10000! Mid 70s and flawed yet never humble self
Realise above long huge essay… Sorry hope ur mood not affected by my raging
Thanku for checking up on me. Im content that my job has minimal politics, boss is nice. Some coworkers a bit bossy, but its mostly safe zone. Not high pay (thats why i Wun be made to pay douche own bills) The ppl i work beside are like fresh from poly so theyre mostly chill.
As Infp, money isn the priority happiness is, and principles.
Hey @Fenrispro Kind of more like pursuing my studies further for that interview haha.
It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of frustration and anger, and I can understand why you feel this way. It seems like his behavior—lack of respect, irrational decisions, and constant negativity—is not only exhausting but also affecting the peace and well-being of everyone at home. It’s tough when someone who’s supposed to contribute to the family dynamic instead creates more stress, especially when there’s no accountability or effort to change. Your feelings are sooo valid and understandable, and it’s okay to vent and let them out. Living with someone who behaves like this, especially during what should be a festive and peaceful time, makes everything harder.
And don’t worry about affecting my mood, we all are here to support each other anyways. I’m glad you let me know about all these too! It’s great to hear that your job is a safe zone with minimal politics and a nice boss. That’s honestly such a blessing these days, even if the pay isn’t sky-high. And I love that you’re clear on what matters to you as an INFP—happiness and principles over just chasing money (sadly I chase money quite often, but not to the point it tampers with my happiness- I still want balance haha).
Keep holding onto your values and protecting your peace! Love to here more from you~ 
Thanku so much for yr affirmation! Wow pursuing further studies in what field? I admire ppl who upgrade themselves. Im always watching new cookshows and docus. Alw fascinated by discovery of new behav: like pumas in the puma triangle. They dun hunt solo anymore, the females congregate 
,dun even need any phone communic
Superior to mankind def. The senior animals often pass down life skills to the young, whereas many Greys (outside too) self centred & entitled. No wisdom
Hey @Fenrispro Pursuing somewhere around education I would say, thank you your kind words! Cookshows interesting! I only watch cooking competitions haha
Thanks for sharing on your interests, glad to know more about what you love and interesting to know about the behaviours of animals, I never really read up on these.
How are you doing at this point of time? (I’m sorry I keep replying later…it always just passes my mind to log in here…)
Umm wkend was ok, i went shopping and talked to therapist abt how to deal with triggering old folks. Umm i know abt the walking away part but I dun accept it becos when someone rants at me irrationally, I Should be defending myself! And mum has a habit of griping what he did wrong offended her: such as forget to turn off own light but interfere > naturally i deflect this energy.
So i say what he does sucks, shld die asap she wld comment: dun curse ppl, its bad and why u everytime grumble. Hello! Why stockholm syndrome? Anyw ive never hidden behind mask, my name means Voice of truth.
I Wun be silenced, ch 5 showed Aladdin movie princ jasmine also sang i wun be silent when the bad guy caught them
Hey @Fenrispro ! Hope you are coping better! Just my opinion is that sometimes not engaging in a quarrel with them might make you feel better coz sometimes it’s extra frustrating to talk to a wall who dont understand how you feel. Maybe also try not to put whatever they say into heart, although it’s tough. It took me many years to not be affected by what people close to me say so I know it’s not easy… Anyway hope you are in a better position now and feel free to update us
@hereforyou Ooh hello, thanku. Yes i get what u mean, my prev counselor often reiterate what u said. Wish im not Hsp highly sensitive…
Today Im frustrated with another issue: Cny reserv for resto. They make it tmr start, but Ive work i ask can make an exception today do? Cannot not ready. Darn, im concerned gonna have more ppl in the Q. Sucks. Public hol special occasions most ppl relax but mum gets frazzled say she dw to cook. My first time having to go enquire
I rather get it done quick! Tick off the list. Have u all need to get resto booking for festive time? How to cope w the anxiety? @Enie
Hihi! I haven’t done booking for CNY before but I did book restaurants for casual lunch/dinner before. I think you still have time to do booking for CNY since CNY is end of Jan/Feb so you got about 1.5months. If not, you can try book the restaurant first and overestimate how many ppl will be there (overestimate is better coz got extra seats as compared to not enough seats). Then, once the number is confirmed that you call and update them the actual number. Another option is to wait for the actual number of people but before you get the number, you plan a list of other restaurants for plan B, not just this restaurant in case no table…
Hey @Fenrispro Thanks for sharing. Booking at restaurants are very anxiety-provoking I must say as I hate to call and speak with them. I also prefer if one phone call could be done in one go and settle. I actually prefer those restaurants that have whatsapp booking better than calling haha but sometimes we cannot avoid it.
How I deal with it is I write down/play in my mind what I am going to say, what do I need to check (like what questions to ask), then I won’t miss out when I’m calling. Having a list or a guide will help me through the call. Maybe you can give it go? The more we practice the better we get it, I’m sure!
Let me know how it goes! 
H**i @Enie wonder if i reply thru email it will update there? Yeaaa, I’m happy that it got settled. I took a half day off, no crowd at the place just the staff all doing by hand. Have to be in person coz they keep a deposit to ensure cust dun elang. avoid wastage.
Oh indeed some places can be done by WA or calls, yea i also dun like calling. Sometimes when i’ve to call fedex i get nervous coz i cannot ustand the foreign accent, which colleagues want me to call customs abt probs. the best is not to get stuck
(Having a list or a guide will help me through the call — Yup earlier on the staff have given me the menu set, can just select. I find it quite comfortable to talk to retail staff… my anxiety only mounts if i see growing Q or crowds > competing with me 
for resources. Or if im reaching clinic and see like many fellows I dun have patience to wait
U?
Hence i nev got those Sporeans long queuing for hello kitty or labubu
Hi @Enie Enie today was mostly fine, i went out mostly to physio and met friend. But when came back the ■■■■ ■■■■■■■ shoutd at me again, all the crap this is his house, what throw me out. I dw to react, i tried to focus on my tv.
Coz starhub had some issue just now i couldn see tv so i dw to walk away. I said- not yr house, hdb govt And i will report police if hes too much
Only when my bro is at home then he pretending to be gd. Really fucked