Well, for 4 years i have been enduring my parents trash talk. If I retaliate in any means that would be meaning im ungrateful and a failure for my mom. My dad just supports my mom in any means even though their divorced. They always say im fine, theres nothing wrong with me, its all in my head and it actually got me and clouded my mind. As years goes by, my ability to focus on studies deteriorate, im unable to actually focus without thinking on what me parents said about me being ungrateful and a failure and several type of names. My mom later take my phone too, and my dad always say to break it, even though my phones the one that helps me escape reality and distract myself from killing myself. Now to avoid all means on killing myself i cut and cry. The knifes are all blunt so it can only cut a little bit.if its sharp, or if u had a rope in my house i wouldve ended my life a long time ago… my mom is still a good mom on taking care of me physically but mentally she tortures me. Many cases where I hyperventilate and go insane repeating the same words like i dont want to die and such. I dont feel save from my own skin and no one is going to help me, i went to counseling in my school amd my parents heard it and they made fun of it for a year. I rrly hope my parents dont find this post.
hi @Aero you found the right place to talk.
sometimes, i also get affected by my parents, esp my dad, because he tends to say hurtful things. when that happens, its ok, do something to relax like take a walk etc. getting angry wont help
parents arent always the best people, some parents out there are just jerks. if you dont feel comfortable telling ur parents then just dont. its gonna make you feel worse.
or to cope you can have a hobby like drawing etc. i once had suicidal thoughts but when i turned to my hobby speedcubing (solving Rubik’s cubes), the thoughts go away.
im not trained but i saw this and no one replied, might as well help you.
Hi @Aero
I thank you for writing in and sharing your current challenges faced. I’m sad you’re going through this. Please know you are not alone, and there’s help available.
Firstly I encourage you to continue the work with your school counsellor. You took a brave step to see this professional so well done!
Please also speak to your school counsellor about safety planning. This is to create a crisis plan with trusted contacts, remove access to harmful objects and practice of self-care.
Request for coaching on coping skills. Create a log book to record all incidents, what happened, what was said and done and how it affected you. This documentation may help the school counsellor understand the severity of the issues at home and take appropriate action. Family counselling could be an option you may want to discuss with your school counsellor.
If you prefer, you can also additionally talk to a trusted teacher who is willing to escalate your challenges to your relevant school staff in management.
It is understandable you feel hurt by your parents actions such as them belittling you and not supporting you. Please know you are not alone and by reaching out for support from school I believe some improvements can be made to keep you safe and protected. If there are other trusted relatives please reach to them too. You fully deserve respect, support and safety. You are deeply precious, always.
The last part feels like u need professional help. Anxiety attacks can only be solved by therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist. If u cant get that then continue seeing ur counsellor without ur parents knowing. Feel free to chat
Hi @Aero,
I am so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and it’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
Please know that you are not alone, and there is help available. It’s important to remember that you are not to blame for what is happening to you. Your parents’ behavior is not okay, and it’s not a reflection of your worth.
Here are some things that may be helpful in allowing you to cope with this situation:
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Talk to someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, teacher, or counselor. Talking about your feelings can help you to feel less alone and more supported.
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Take care of yourself. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. These things can help to improve your mental and emotional health.
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Find healthy ways to cope with stress. This could include things like journaling, meditation, or spending time in nature.
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Seek professional help. A therapist can help you to develop healthy coping mechanisms and to work through your trauma. Here’s a tool to connect you to available services within the community. (https://www.mindline.sg/youth/mental-health-service-providers/start)
Please remember that you are not alone, and there is hope for the future.
are this signs of parents being toxic?
example :my parents saw my crying because of friendship issue, but they insit they help. Even though i said i can deal with it myself and i don’t want their help. they said the will block my phone if i don’t tell them.
example:
when my brother is getting his report slip, my parents want me to go and ‘support’ when i literally not going to do anything there.but they block my phone and called me selfish. the number of person doesn’t increase the luck.even i don’t go it doesn’t mean i hate my brother,like good for you if you passed.they always abuse the power they have and they use it over minor inconvience that angrys them. i’m asking to confirm if they are toxic as i’m desparate to end ties with them but i’m under 18 and i have no idea how to cut ties with them. i also need confidents so that whe the times come i know what to do after that and how to manage being alone for my whole life