Emotional immature old folk

Most of the time I dw to feel sorry for the greys aka baby boomers 60 n above. Becos ive emo immature thick skulled dictator at home. Over small matters he wld do emo blackmail n threats.
I wun cry, i will yell back. The prob is not gd for my gut health. I despise self centred old folks, they Dun deserve respect nor filial,

My counselors advise me to ignore if not v major issue. However it’s quite hard to ignore when the ■■■ purposely provoke. Happen recently, i was just eating meal when he blocked my tv and randomly started commanding me! ■■■■■■■ insur all of it he signed up i said i dw to care- but the ■■■■ escalated to- he wanto throw me out and such ■■■■! Im alr working yet nev care abt me at all! Nev even show me useful skills alw talking bollocks
Duno if gonna be dementia, ■■■■■■■ 70s but wun let professionals assess

I first post under hangouts but want to ask therapist opinion

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Hi @Fenrispro

Thank you reaching out. It sounds like you’re going through a challenging time with your family situation. Dealing with emotional blackmail and threats from someone you live with can be stressful and can affect your mental and physical health.

Firstly, please know that you don’t deserve to be treated this way, and it’s not your fault. It’s great that you’re seeking help from counsellors, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being.

Ignoring the behaviour is a good starting point. When someone is trying to provoke you, it’s essential to remain calm and not engage.

Regarding your concerns about your family member’s behaviour and potential dementia, it’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy. However, it’s also important to prioritise your own well-being and seek support.

Consider reaching out to local support groups or organisations that specialise in eldercare and dementia. They can provide you with guidance, resources, and emotional support.

Remember, you’re not alone in this situation. There are people who care about you and want to help. :heart:

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Hi @Fenrispro! It can get especially daunting to care for the elderly at home especially when they do not treat us as empathetically as we treat them. I can feel how you feel, cos over the past few years, the relationship between me and my grandma has become super dramatic. As you said, elderly people get self-centred and more thick skinned as they grow old. Just wanna reassure u that you’re not alone.

Wanted to share some tips that have seen some results for me:

  1. If they can’t give you space, you may have to demand it.
  • I share my grandma’s room and after Covid pandemic struck, my life was like watching starters every day.
    Initially, I avoided conflict by studying in the library and my school everyday as frequently as possible. though this avoided problems, later on my gran started to expect me to study in school and library rather than at home. Funny part is that, she’ll make a fuss if I were to complain about any inconveniences about studying the library. best part is that, she’ll insist that I can study conveniently at home itself.
  • to solve this problem, I started insisting and enforcing my need for a study space at home. So, life’s events unfolded in such a way, that made me unable to go to the library to study just as frequently. hence, I had to stress the need to study from home. The best part is now they are asking me why I’m not going to the library just as often :face_exhaling:
  1. Escalate the problems that you are facing with the elderly to a person of higher authority.
  • So, for my case I raised this issue to my parents, and they are now better able to support me in any conflicts that arise amongst me and my grandma.
  • the thing is strengthen your support system
  1. Leave the environment, should they continue
  • ever since I expressed this concern to my parents, they have started exploring options to iron out the conflicts that have risen btw me and my gran, like me staying in my Uni’s accommodation.
  • I’m not sure if u can “leave the environment” just as I am able to. But, you can reduce your exposure with the elder person within a day like going out with some loved one every now and then.

In essence, just wanted to reinforce that caregivers also need care so feel free to reach out!

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Thanku for the suggestions. Umm coz the ■■■■■■■ is still able to run about, so i dw to consider that option yet. Awhile back I had enquired can Imh come to arrest the old folk should they turn violent? but they never replied anything concrete, that have to get referred. However such a hardcore ■■■■ whos in denial wouldn’t get mental health assessed :roll_eyes:
Thats why in general if i’m walking around at market see any greys i despise them

@lovelychange Thanku for input. Umm thing is i have no intention of looking after this jerkhole. Not just the verbal crap, since he stopped working fulltime always dismantling junks. Instead of doing it outside and not cause noise pollution to us, he will do it at front door. EVEN when we readying to go out! My friends said to plug music and play it loud to drown it out

I only wanto tc of my mum who would keep saying she rather that we send her to ‘old folks home’ I did plan to try applying for rental flat the Srsf but applic got turned down. Social wker suggested i try.

have a brother, but other than buying groceries he has no intention of mediating (like some friends’ brothers with similar situation. He has gf so own plans. :frowning: With regards to future- not that im desperate or stuff but i hope either end of world comes soon so dun have to worry abt future. All the wars and climate changes are imminent

Or that the fucker dies asap, got heart issue and frigging old. My late uncles at this age have alr passed on. I want justice to make sure he suffers

@CaringBee eh why u marked my topic as solved? Im not yet caregiver nor do i wanto, so i dun think wanto contact org abt eldercare yet- unless they can drastically arrest the ■■■■■■■. Last night he yelled again, for nth at me. Like nev throw away, just some ■■■■ bottle containing flammable chem> put Near our shoes! I REALLY TRIED NOT TO ENGAGE, but he riled. I din walk away coz my starhub jus started functioning again