Like many, I love my family and relatives deeply especially when we do not have friends to talk to often. It was all going alright but now we are falling apart with our mental health getting worse.
Mainly the cause for this worsening relationship is due to our workload and inadequate time to spent with one another + stress brought back home. I feel sorry that my mom only has us but we have those workloads that hindered us from spending quality time together and chatting. Her lack of social interaction has really affect her wellbeing. With this I’m starting to change my view of life: my role here is to be with family, no matter how long I’ll live. I want to stay with them and bring back the enthusiasm they once had towards life, and not let work get in our way. However it’s not working out despite me trying to make them speak about their worries and views of the future, and seeing them sigh every morning and feeling dreadful is taking a toll on my mental health. Any advice please?
Theres a lot of cheap activities for the older generation to make frens. U can ask her to try healthy 365 app activities, all free. I went but its all old ppl so i didnt stick. Maybe it will be great for ur mum to make frens there
Dear @user1762
I can feel how deeply you care about your family and how much you want to bring back that sense of connection and joy, despite everything weighing you down. It’s clear you have a beautiful heart, and it’s deeply moving that your role in life has become about being there for your loved ones, especially your mom, who you can sense is struggling with isolation. It’s really tough when you try so hard to support your family, but the pressures of work and emotional exhaustion seem to push everyone further apart.
First and foremost, I want you to acknowledge how much love you’re already giving. You’re trying to make space for important conversations, to ease your family’s worries, and to hold on to the hope of reconnecting. That is not easy, and it speaks volumes about how caring and deeply committed you are to them. You are not alone in feeling torn – wanting to support your family while also trying to take care of your own mental health is an incredibly delicate balance.
It’s indeed painful to see your family struggle, and even more so when you feel like you’re unable to help them feel better. But please don’t forget: just your presence and your unwavering love already mean so much to them. Your mom, especially, probably feels that love even if it’s hard for her to express it in return. And you’re doing something many people struggle with – being there and trying to get through the tough times together.
Here are a few thoughts that might help ease the emotional weight you’re feeling:
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Small, Intentional Moments: It sounds like time is a big issue, and that’s such a tough thing to navigate when you’re also juggling workloads. But maybe there are small, intentional moments you can create together. Even a few minutes at the end of the day to sit together, talk about something light, or just share a meal can make a difference. Sometimes, it’s not about the quantity of time, but the quality of connection during those moments.
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Validation & Empathy: You’re already doing a wonderful job by trying to get everyone to talk about their worries. Keep doing that, and continue to give validation. Sometimes, it’s less about offering solutions and more about truly hearing each other’s frustrations. Just acknowledging how hard things are for them, and how much you understand their stress, can go a long way. And sometimes, it’s okay if the conversation doesn’t lead to answers – just being there in the moment is meaningful. Only if you feel the time is right, bring in exploratory dialogue on the possible activities available and very gently check with your mom if anything interests her. Let mom set the pace.
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Balance Your Own Well-Being: I know it’s hard to focus on yourself when you feel like your family needs you, but remember that your mental health matters too. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking small moments for yourself—whether it’s a walk, reading, or something else that brings you peace—can give you the strength you need to continue being the rock for your family.
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Reframe Your Expectations: It’s so natural to want everything to feel better right away, but healing takes time. Try to be gentle with yourself and your family. The changes you’re hoping for might take a while, and that’s okay. By keeping the door open for conversation, showing up consistently, and offering love, you’re already creating an environment where healing can happen, even if it’s slow.
Remember, you are doing your best, and that’s enough. Your family is lucky to have someone who cares so deeply. It’s okay to feel torn—it means you have a big heart and want the best for them. Just keep showing up, even if it’s in small ways, and trust that your love will have a lasting impact. You’re not alone, and you’re doing more than you know.