hi, im a 14yo teen and i dont have a dad. i live in malaysia and im on this forum because its not easy to find mental help in malaysia and i really hate that and the frustration it brings me
every weekday my mom drops and picks me up from school, we do not ever talk to each other during car rides and i dont feel like theres anything to talk to her about so i always kept my mouth shut.
whenever i have done something wrong, my mom has never ever in my 14 years on this horrible planet politely told me to not do the wrong action or corrected me. she has always scolded me and every time i acknowledge her by saying “OK” its always the same response “you don’t ok ok me, you see what will happen in the future”
it makes me incredibly angry and frustrated to the point where i think living my life further is not worth it anymore. one time, my relative who has cancer called my grandma to chat with her while she was busy. so i accepted the call myself and she mentioned that she wanted to talk to my mom. my mom was hanging clothes outside during this moment, but she looked at me RUDELY for no reason at all and continued to hang the clothes without saying anything.
i know i mentioned that i dont want to live my life anymore in the paragraph above and i need to seek help, but this WANT goes away when i forget about what even happened within minutes.
whenever any of my family members talk to my mom, excluding my grandma, she does not respond to them and looks away. i die also this woman wont care and prolly won’t even shed a tear at my funeral.
during times when i was in danger, such as choking on food in the kitchen while she is right behind me preparing her stupid teh tarik, she literally did not care and just continued while i was literally about 30 seconds away from leaving the world.
i feel so neglected and i cannot handle this nonsense anymore, please give me advice on what to do which does not involve communicating with her because she wouldnt even bother.
i am unable to find resources such as child protective services in malaysia.