Every time when my mom asks me on what am I doing, I am afraid to share with her. This is due to upbringing of my childhood. I end up getting scolded over a simple thing. I can’t even play games during my free time. I can’t even enjoy my interests which make me feel happy. I want to rant by journeling bcs I was involved in a fight at school. All she wants me to do is STUDY and blames all of those things as a distraction. She even blame that my interests caused me to fail O levels. I need my me-time too. I can’t even consult her anymore. I dont know if she is guilt tripping me but she commented that “a mother’s prayers is acceptable.” whenever we went into a heated argument. What is she trying to imply? I can’t even communicate anymore. I just want to leave this household at this point. I cant take it anymore. Its too much for me.
hey @user390141 , this sounds like a really frustrating situation to be in it seems as though your mom might not really be listening to your opinions and feelings. some of the things she says and does makes you feel like she’s being unfair and that can get suffocating… i think it’s natural that you want some space for yourself so that you can have your me-time without worrying about what others may think
i hope that journaling has provided you with some comfort, and has allowed you to express the thoughts and feelings that you can’t share with your mom
thank you for sharing this experience here, it was probably difficult for you to be so open about such personal feelings. know that you have a space here to freely talk about your struggles and how you feel, we’re here for you
Hi @user390141, thank you for reaching out.
that sounds so frustrating and stressful, especially since home is supposed to be a safe space for you.
it seems like your mother doesn’t understand you, so its tough to communicate to her about your struggles.
i see why it can be super stressful and overwhelming at home, especially if you just want some rest.
have you found that journalling helps you feel better?
feel free to rant and share your thoughts here, hopefully it can help you relieve some stress.
if you don’t mind me asking, is there any particular trigger that starts off arguments between the two of you?
I have no idea what causes us to be triggered. Sometimes a simple conversation can just turn in an argument. I hated it.
oh… thats a really tough situation. must be exhausting having to be aware all the time, trying not to somehow get your mom angry again. has it always been like this throughout ur childhood?
Hi,
it sounds so exhausting and painful to feel like you can’t even share small things
you deserve to have your own space, your own happiness, and to be accepted as you are
and even more - it’s okay to need “me time”, and it’s okay to have interests that make you feel alive and happy.
Keep holding on to the little things that make you feel good - they matter, and so do you
Yeah…and now its a habit. My dad used to be the middle person but now he is kinda siding towards my mom. Idk
hi @user390141,
I hear you, and I know how incredibly frustrating and isolating to feel like you can’t even have a simple conversation without fear of being scolded.
I think sometimes our parents don’t realize we are grown up and no longer children that need guidance in everything we do. It is understandable that you want some me-time and the freedom to pursue what you like.
It is important to find ways to cope and seek support (like the journaling that you do), talking to a trusted friend, share your stuggles with us or seeking professional help. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it is okay to seek out the support you need. Take care
hey @user390141, i’m really sorry to hear about what’s going on at home. it’s not great to be in a home environment like that and it’s always difficult when there’s problems with family. it sounds like it’s making you walk on eggshells with your behaviour, and that’s having a real impact on your mental health.
you mentioned that your dad used to be the middle-man, would it be a good idea to speak to him to help to communicate some of your concerns with your mom? i know it helps me sometimes because it “softens the blow” of what you want to say. it seems like you’re really trying your best to communicate with her, so maybe a different approach will be fruitful.
as for the home environment, if it won’t cause more tensions you can try spending more time with your friends! sometimes distance can do you good, and it’s especially good to be around people who you can communicate freely with.
family can be tough sometimes, just know we’re rooting for you through it!
Hi, currently I dont really have time to even hang out with friends. Tertiary education is packing my schedule so badly - assignments after assignments and projects after projects. The impact is like rolling a humongous snowball without stopping. Probably im only free during the mid term break. So I have lesser time with my friends. Its just intense studying and dealing with my parents.
Sorry that your dad’s siding with your mom more now Do you think maybe he’s gotten too tired or something?
Since you’re already in tertiary education I really hope they start to see you as independent and grown up.
Do you have any adult you’re close to though? Like a teacher or uncle/auntie. I think it helps to have older mentors and parental figures to talk to comfortably at this stage of your life :")
For me a few yrs ago I talked to my school counsellor when I felt like I couldn’t communicate with my parents.
Hope you enjoy the holiday tomorrow btw!
Hi @user390141,
It sounds like you’re carrying a lot on your shoulders right now, and I truly feel for you. Having your dad shift roles in family dynamics can be disorienting, especially when you’re already managing challenges with your parents. It’s difficult when someone you’ve relied on as a neutral figure starts to take sides. That kind of shift can leave you feeling like you’re navigating everything on your own. It’s completely valid to feel a bit lost in such moments.
On top of that, the demands of tertiary education seem overwhelming for you. It’s no wonder you feel like your schedule is snowballing out of control. Assignments, projects, and the pressure to perform academically can be relentless. When those demands leave little time for connecting with friends or taking a breather, it’s easy to feel trapped in a cycle of constant productivity. That sense of missing out on social interactions, combined with the intensity of studying, can be isolating and exhausting. You’re showing strength by pushing through, even though it’s clearly not easy.
I really admire the way you’re holding up under this pressure. The fact that you’re sharing how you feel shows a lot of courage. It’s not easy to open up about struggles like these. When mid-term break rolls around, I hope you’ll be able to carve out time not just for your friends, but for yourself too. You deserve moments of rest, joy, and connection. Hang in there, and remember that even amidst the chaos, your well-being matters most.
Having your me time is so important, and I’m sorry that home and your parents seem to not feel safe to unwind for you. Even though your mum expects you to study, I hear that you are trying really hard and caught up with assignments and projects. Affirming that it is important to destress, and have a space to unwind and vent. And am really glad you reached out on this platform too!
I’m wondering what are some spaces that has helped you feel safe, where you can engage in your me-time like journaling that you mentioned?
Hi I did journaling and my mom wasn’t happy about it. She wanted me to study. Im still finding ways to have my me time.
Hi @user390141,
It sounds like you’re trying to balance your personal time with the expectations your mom has for you, and that can be really challenging. Journaling is an important way to process your thoughts and emotions, but it seems like your mom sees studying as the priority right now. It’s understandable that you want to carve out space for yourself while also respecting her concerns. Everyone needs time to recharge and reflect, and feeling like you don’t have that freedom can be frustrating.
As humans, we all need breaks—not just from studying but from any demanding task. Constant work without rest can lead to burnout, stress, and even less effective studying in the long run. Taking time for yourself isn’t a distraction from success; it’s an essential part of maintaining your well-being. Journaling, even in small moments, can help clear your mind and actually improve your focus when you do return to studying. If your mom sees your personal time as something that enhances rather than hinders your academic life, she might be more open to it.
One way to balance both priorities could be to schedule “structured breaks,” where you dedicate a set amount of time to journaling, relaxation, or other activities before diving back into studying. You could also explore alternative ways of taking time for yourself, like listening to music, taking a short walk, or meditating—things that don’t take too long but still help you unwind. If possible, having an open conversation with your mom about how personal time improves your productivity might help her see your perspective. You deserve time to recharge, and finding that balance is key to both your success and well-being.