Can’t even talk to my mom atp

Every time when my mom asks me on what am I doing, I am afraid to share with her. This is due to upbringing of my childhood. I end up getting scolded over a simple thing. I can’t even play games during my free time. I can’t even enjoy my interests which make me feel happy. I want to rant by journeling bcs I was involved in a fight at school. All she wants me to do is STUDY and blames all of those things as a distraction. She even blame that my interests caused me to fail O levels. I need my me-time too. I can’t even consult her anymore. I dont know if she is guilt tripping me but she commented that “a mother’s prayers is acceptable.” whenever we went into a heated argument. What is she trying to imply? I can’t even communicate anymore. I just want to leave this household at this point. I cant take it anymore. Its too much for me.

hey @user390141 , this sounds like a really frustrating situation to be in :frowning: it seems as though your mom might not really be listening to your opinions and feelings. some of the things she says and does makes you feel like she’s being unfair and that can get suffocating… i think it’s natural that you want some space for yourself so that you can have your me-time without worrying about what others may think

i hope that journaling has provided you with some comfort, and has allowed you to express the thoughts and feelings that you can’t share with your mom :mending_heart:

thank you for sharing this experience here, it was probably difficult for you to be so open about such personal feelings. know that you have a space here to freely talk about your struggles and how you feel, we’re here for you :smiling_face:

1 Like

Hi @user390141, thank you for reaching out.

that sounds so frustrating and stressful, especially since home is supposed to be a safe space for you. :frowning:
it seems like your mother doesn’t understand you, so its tough to communicate to her about your struggles.

i see why it can be super stressful and overwhelming at home, especially if you just want some rest.

have you found that journalling helps you feel better?
feel free to rant and share your thoughts here, hopefully it can help you relieve some stress.

if you don’t mind me asking, is there any particular trigger that starts off arguments between the two of you?

1 Like

I have no idea what causes us to be triggered. Sometimes a simple conversation can just turn in an argument. I hated it.

oh… thats a really tough situation. must be exhausting having to be aware all the time, trying not to somehow get your mom angry again. has it always been like this throughout ur childhood?

1 Like

Hi,
it sounds so exhausting and painful to feel like you can’t even share small things
you deserve to have your own space, your own happiness, and to be accepted as you are :brown_heart:
and even more - it’s okay to need “me time”, and it’s okay to have interests that make you feel alive and happy.

Keep holding on to the little things that make you feel good - they matter, and so do you :sparkles:

1 Like

Yeah…and now its a habit. My dad used to be the middle person but now he is kinda siding towards my mom. Idk

hi @user390141,

I hear you, and I know how incredibly frustrating and isolating to feel like you can’t even have a simple conversation without fear of being scolded.

I think sometimes our parents don’t realize we are grown up and no longer children that need guidance in everything we do. It is understandable that you want some me-time and the freedom to pursue what you like.

It is important to find ways to cope and seek support (like the journaling that you do), talking to a trusted friend, share your stuggles with us or seeking professional help. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it is okay to seek out the support you need. Take care :slight_smile:

1 Like

hey @user390141, i’m really sorry to hear about what’s going on at home. it’s not great to be in a home environment like that and it’s always difficult when there’s problems with family. it sounds like it’s making you walk on eggshells with your behaviour, and that’s having a real impact on your mental health.

you mentioned that your dad used to be the middle-man, would it be a good idea to speak to him to help to communicate some of your concerns with your mom? i know it helps me sometimes because it “softens the blow” of what you want to say. it seems like you’re really trying your best to communicate with her, so maybe a different approach will be fruitful.

as for the home environment, if it won’t cause more tensions you can try spending more time with your friends! sometimes distance can do you good, and it’s especially good to be around people who you can communicate freely with.

family can be tough sometimes, just know we’re rooting for you through it! :mending_heart:

1 Like

Hi, currently I dont really have time to even hang out with friends. Tertiary education is packing my schedule so badly - assignments after assignments and projects after projects. The impact is like rolling a humongous snowball without stopping. Probably im only free during the mid term break. So I have lesser time with my friends. Its just intense studying and dealing with my parents. :frowning: