My mother ended our ties over a phone call and blocked me after the call.
I do not know what to do.
It opened up my old wounds again.
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Hi @estee
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through such a painful experience. The end of any relationship, especially one with a parent, can be very painful and difficult to process. It’s understandable that this situation has reopened old wounds and left you feeling lost and unsure of what to do next.
First and foremost, please remember that you’re not alone. Many people have experienced similar situations and understand the depth of pain and confusion you’re feeling right now. I highly encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional to process these feelings of shock, pain, and confusion with them. Here are some places you can seek support from:
- Nearby Family Service Centre: MSF | Directories
- Limitless : Talk To Someone - Limitless
- CPH chat : https://www.cphonlinecounselling.sg/hc/en-us
- IMH CHAT : Home - CHAT
- ec2.sg : https://fycs.org/ec2-sg
- MSF’s Online Counselling
- Silver Ribbon
- SAMH
- Care Corner
Also, while it’s natural to want to reach out and try to mend the relationship, it’s also important to give yourself permission to grieve and process your emotions. Take the time you need to heal and focus on your own well-being.
If and when you feel ready, you may consider reaching out to your mother to express your feelings and attempt to reconcile. However, it’s important to approach this with caution and respect for your own boundaries, for example if it’s too painful and you need to take a step back, please do so and respect your boundaries. Ultimately, the decision to reconnect or move forward without the relationship is yours to make.
In the meantime, I encourage you to focus on self-care and find healthy outlets for your emotions. It could be as simple as journaling, therapy, or engaging in activities or hobbies that bring you joy - just please be sure to focus on your own healing journey.
Please know that we are here with you. If you’re ready, you can share with us your feelings and thoughts further and we will be here to listen and support you.
Do keep us updated about whether you’ve managed to reach out to any therapist to support you through this process. Hear from you soon.
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Hi @estee thank you for sharing 
I’m not sure how I can help you but if you need a listening ear and wanna talk about it I’m here 
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Thank you.
I want to mend the relationship with my mother because I feel it’s needed.
It’s painful, but she wouldn’t listen to what I had to say.
we do not stay together for so many years, but all we do is blame each other.
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i’m impressed by your maturity.
sadly, not all adults show the same level of maturity and sensibility like you.
all we can do is wait until the other party is willing to open their hearts.
meanwhile, i hope you stay healthy and hopeful.
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Sadly, I tried talking to my aunt about it.
Maybe I was trying to get her to empathize with me, but she felt that I wasn’t a good daughter to begin with. Maybe I didn’t do enough as a daughter, and so forth.
But how do you quantify what is enough?
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sorry to hear that you have not been able to get the support you want from your aunt.
perhaps if the hurt is still new, it might be good for those involved to give it some time to heal.
a parent’s love should be unconditional and a child shouldn’t have to do things to be deserving of love or affection.
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Sounds like your aunt is on your mum’s side. Any suggestions from her to reconcile? It’s not very helpful for her to just dismiss it as you not doing enough though.
If this is not the first time that your mum is doing this, could you recall what happened the last time and how y’all went back to talking terms?
Yes Jaws, it does felt like nobody is listening or standing on " my side "
Either they judge you based on their own experiences or their own standards of a good daughter. Either way, they are not wrong too.
The first time my mom did this was when she slapped me because I was late home for 15 minutes, and then I went back to stay with my grandparents.
We didn’t reconcile until 17 years later, which is recently when I went to visit her.
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Thanks for sharing @estee. Were there other underlying issues that made you decide to go stay with your grandparents for 17 years? How did you decide to reconcile with her recently?