Feel that Im a poor conversionalist and cant connect

I do experience mind blank when speaking to others, or running out of things to say.

I usually lie and say I have friends to avoid being seen as a loser, or people will not want to associate with me. I dont delve too much in my personal life because things are not going good. I dont want to share the not so good stuff about my life. When people my age group share their relationship experiences, it gets really painful becasue I cannot simply relate to it because I have been single my whole life.

It makes the whole process of getting to know people really unenjoyable. Sometimes I cant show my authentic self for the fear of not being liked by others, people dont appreciate my quirks. Interacting with people makes me feel embarrased about myself and my shortcomings.


Hey @Mentalhealth60 its normal to wanna hide your shortcommings from others especially now when in social media most of the stuff we see are curated :smiling_face_with_tear:

Well what else do you wanna share ? Feel free to share over here we are open to listen hehe :otter:

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Hi @Mentalhealth60 !

Thanks for sharing with us authentically about your struggles, I hear you, and it sounds like you’re going through a tough time with social interactions, and I’m really sorry to hear that. Feeling like you’re running out of things to say or experiencing a mind blank can be frustrating, especially when it affects your ability to connect with others. I can also understand that you might feel pressure to present yourself in a certain way to avoid judgment or rejection, which can make opening up about personal struggles even more difficult.

Here are a couple of suggestions that might help :slight_smile:

  1. Try to practice Active Listening :slight_smile: Sometimes, the pressure to keep the conversation going can be alleviated just by actively listening to the other person! You can ask open-ended questions about their experiences, interests, and thoughts, and genuinely engage with what they’re saying. This can take some of the pressure off you to constantly come up with new topics and also helps build a deeper connection with the other person.

  2. **Try to find common ground :slight_smile: While it’s natural to feel left out when others discuss relationship experiences you can’t relate to, try to focus on finding common ground in other areas. You can even start by saying something like “I noticed that we both enjoy …” or “Wow I like that too!” It can be shared interests, hobbies, or life goals, highlighting what you do have in common can help bridge the gap and help you find meaningful connections without dwelling on what you perceive as shortcomings.

Remember, it’s okay to take things at your own pace and to only share what you feel comfortable with. Authenticity is so important in building genuine relationships, and people who appreciate your quirks and accept you for who you are will be worth getting to know :wink: And please know that it’s completely normal to have periods of struggle with social interactions, and you’re not alone in feeling this way!

Let us know if you’ve tried any of the suggestions and keep us updated on how you’re doing ok? :slight_smile: Hear from you soon!

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Hi @cottonsoul thanks for the tips on trying to find common ground and practicing active listening. I actually came home crying after the social event. Im still trying to identify my emotional triggers, and why i feel a surge of negative emotions during social interactions.

Im afraid that people can pick on some cues/vibes that im mentally ill which makes it harder for others to accepet me, because people have asked me : do you feel anxious? And i certainly do not feel comfortable talking about my personal life/mental illness history to people i meet for the first time. Generally dont like the feeling that people know something is off with me.

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