Hello, a little grumble here , I have close friends in school that I trust alot but I do not feel great when I share my problems with them. It feels as though I am burdening them when they already have so many things going on in their lives (studies , relationships) . I want to share everything with them but I’m worried abt how it will affect our friendship in the future . Also , I am already seeing a therapist for my existing mental health condition ( anxiety related ) but I also do not feel great talking to him because Im not very comfortable and its awkward. I miss my old therapist who had to leave because of personal reasons but I would very much like to be talking to her instead as she makes me feel safe but professionally i know thats not possible. Hence im bottling up everything and crumbling on the inside when I appear happy go lucky on the outside. What should i do ? I just feel sad and lonely everyday when I see others living normal lives and having company while i suffer and drown in schoolwork and not have any other life outside of school.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us, it is always welcomed here! I hear you, and it sounds like you’re carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders, and it’s understandable to feel hesitant about sharing your struggles with your friends, especially when you’re concerned about burdening them. I can see that you value your friendships deeply, and you want to preserve them while also finding a way to go through your own challenges. Bottling up your emotions and pretending to be okay on the outside while feeling sad and lonely inside is a heavy burden to bear.
It’s great that you’re already seeing a therapist to address your anxiety-related issues, but it’s unfortunate that you’re not feeling completely comfortable with your current therapist. It’s natural to miss the connection and sense of safety you had with your previous therapist. Change can be difficult, especially when it comes to something as personal as therapy.
If you feel comfortable, you could try expressing your concerns to your current therapist. They might be able to adjust their approach to make you feel more at ease, or they could help you explore other options for therapy that might be a better fit for you.
Additionally, would you like to consider changing therapist? It’s perfectly okay to find one that suits you, and to choose a therapist that you feel comfortable with - that’s the whole point of therapy right? Therapy won’t be useful if you bottle things up and don’t feel comfortable. I would highly recommend that you keep trying out different therapists until you find one that you are comfortable with, then continue with that person. It’s completely okay to search and try and ‘test’ until you get one (Yes, you’re hearing this from a therapist - and you’re definitely allowed to do this 
)
Perhaps it might also be helpful to explore different ways of expressing yourself and finding support. Have you considered joining a support group or seeking out online communities where you can connect with others who may be going through similar experiences? Sometimes, sharing with people who understand can alleviate the feeling of loneliness and provide more support
Let us know how your journey in searching for a therapist that you’re comfortable with goes, and hopefully you’ll find one that suits you - and then you can process your emotions about the friendship issues as well.
Keep us updated ok? Hear from you soon.
Hi @ilovetehbeng !
I agree with what cottonsoul said about sharing with your current therapist about how you feel regarding the sessions so that your therapist can either change the way he carries out sessions or maybe even refer you to another therapist who you might feel more comfortable with !
On another note, I really understand what you mean when you share about not wanting to burden your close friends with your problems, cos I felt that too at one point of time. I think one way I overcame this fear was to check in with my friend first before ranting or sharing with them about my problems. For example, I’ll text them and ask “Hey, are you free now? I kinda want someone to rant to.” or “Hey, do you have the mental capacity to listen to me rant?”. This way, you give your friends to option to reject you if they feel that they don’t have the mental capacity to give you their attention for you to rant to. Hope this helps you and let me know if you tried it out
Hey there !
Thanks for the response!
I do value my friendships ( or relationships in general ) alot, so I tend not to share my inner woes and sorrows with those around me aside from the usual complains in life. Sometimes you just want to see the people around you happy and not be worried and fussing over you right ?
Yeah I’ve thought of changing therapists before but then I realize that I’d have to go through the entire “warmup” process with them every time I see someone new ( changed twice already ) , and it gets tiring having to repeat everything over and over again over the course of a few sessions. I do know that the main point of therapy is to be comfortable letting things out and having someone to be listening to me rant and all, but I’m rather introverted and shy and it takes me a long time to open up so I think ill need some time to figure it out with the current one. I will definitely try my best for that ! Change is something that I struggle with alot 
Also, I’ve considered contacting / keeping in touch with my previous therapist ( through social media because I have no other means) , and hopefully see if she was still providing therapy but I read that ethically and professionally its not appropriate to do so so I’ve kinda shoved that thought away.
Good news ( or so I hope ) is, that I do express myself out to my friends in my crazy and quirky mannerisms, and also I do try my best to invest my free time into things that make me happy! I might consider joining some support groups and communities but I think I’ll have to wait till I’m a little more free ( I’m a workaholic as well but I complain about work so :') ) I guess this community is also a place I can turn to
Once again, thank you very much for the response ! I wasn’t exactly expecting much when I posted something in this community but I do appreciate the effort it took for you to reply to it ! If things go great , I shall update haha .
Have a good weekend !
Hello !
Thank you for responding ! I’ll definitely take the advices that yall have given me and hopefully I’ll be able to find some comfort soon
I can relate to this because my previous therapist (in school) also had to leave due to personal reasons but I got lucky because she was still practicing in private practice so I got to see her as a private client.
But I agree with @cottonsoul and @atikawaii that you should consider speaking to your current therapist about your feelings and concerns.
This is very valid, it can be very tiring to have to repeat the entire process of opening up. However from personal experiences (I’ve changed 4 to 5 times), it can be very beneficial to find someone that you can connect and have a good rapport with.