I have barely a year more until psle(im pri5) My end of years are also approaching but i cant get myself to study. if im not at tuition, id be lying on my bed for hours seeing how other people are doing so much better then me. i dont trust my parents, bc when i try to tell them how i feel, they say im the one thats lazy and its my fault my studies are in a downward slide. my parents dont see that i could possibly have depression, even when i self harm. then my bestfriend left me, because she complained that i was toxic when she was the one constantly ignoring me. she has diagnosed depression, and my teachers knew i was her bsf, so they also put all their pressure on me and said that i have to take care of her. being pressured, i put her above my own needs and cared more about her than myself. i feel like a nobody at this point. honestly i cant deal with this anymore, and ive almost tried to kms before but couldnt bring myself to. i know other poeple have it worse, which makes me feel guilty for even feeling this way. i feel bad for venting like that, knowing other people are going throught worse sh than me. ive tried to resist the urge of self harming, and im trying to stay clean having done it before. more bc my parents are going to scold me for it. idk, why bother to even continue on.
Hi @syeiryn
It sounds like you feel overwhelmed due to your situation at school, both from academics and social life with regards to your friend.
First of, I want to commend you on your maturity in trying to stay clean from self-harm, and for also respecting your parents wants. It is not easy to priorities the needs of others and to do what’s right over what you want. Very commendable for you to display such mature thinking at your young age of only primary 5. Many adults don’t even display your level of selflessness lol!
Sounds like you are experiencing a lot of friendship trouble right now too. Adolescent friendships are often a tricky thing to navigate. It sounds like there’s alot of drama involved in these dynamics and it must be exhausting.
I’m also really sorry to hear that you are unable to trust your parents. Seems like you feel like your parents don’t prioritize your well being and are misjudging you for being lazy when you’re trying your best as much as possible.
To be frank with you, most of our parents, are not mature enough even for their big age. Perhaps you can try to talk to them and tell them more about your point of view. If they resist again (“bc when i try to tell them how i feel”), you can try to talk about it to a trusted adult such as your form teacher. Your school counsellor would be a good choice too.
All the best! I hope you find someone you can trust and feel comfortable with in your life. It must be lonely.
Wishing you the best
Hi Thank you for being very honest and open here. I know it is not easy to open up. At the age of P5, you are very mature and help your best friend a lot. It is not easy to be facing pressure with studies, taking care about your best friend, and dealing with school. It is normal to feel in this way as it is a very difficult situation to be in.
To be honest, sometimes, our parents could not understand from our point of view. I would recommend to talk to them again and tell them in a calm way about how you are feeling. However, sometimes, parents might not understand us . Thus, I suggest that you might consider to speak to your form teacher or your counsellor.
It is okay to feel what you are feeling especially when you have so many expectations from others. Many people also felt overwhelmed in this kind of difficult situation. It is also important to take care of ourselves. You are also important to your parents.
Hello @syeiryn 
! Thank you for sharing your experience. It seems like you have a lot on your plate and are under a lot of stress. Feeling this way is not a sign of weakness or selfishness. You seem to have been doing all you can, but when others close to you don’t quite understand what you’re going through, it may be difficult to keep going.
Firstly, what you’re going through is valid and it doesn’t make your suffering any less genuine or significant just because others may be going through difficult times. No matter what, you deserve to be heard and supported.
You’re not lazy, it just feels like you’re swamped and trapped. It seems more like you’re suffering from sadness or emotional tiredness, which may make it difficult to concentrate on anything, particularly schoolwork. Sometimes, as a coping mechanism, our thoughts shut down when we feel like we’re slipping behind or can’t keep up.
I understand that PSLE can be overwhelming, stressful, or scary. For now, you can take small steps at a time. Try focusing on one thing at a time. Next, if you feel like you’re not heard, express yourself through journaling. Lastly, you can get support here 
Hello @syeiryn,
Thanks for reaching out.
I can see that you are really struggling with this situation. You’ve shared with me that you have thoughts about killing/harming yourself. I acknowledge the braveness in sharing these thoughts with me.
If you’re able to, please approach SOS or IMH immediately as they are able work through with you on these issues you are facing. To make sure you’re kept safe until you manage to get the necessary help, please approach a trusted friend/family member to highlight your struggles and to accompany you in the meantime.
Please also remove all sharp objects in your surroundings and make sure that they are kept out of sight.
Please call either of these numbers should you require immediate assistance:
SOS – 1-767
IMH – 6389 2222