I have barely a year more until psle(im pri5) My end of years are also approaching but i cant get myself to study. if im not at tuition, id be lying on my bed for hours seeing how other people are doing so much better then me. i dont trust my parents, bc when i try to tell them how i feel, they say im the one thats lazy and its my fault my studies are in a downward slide. my parents dont see that i could possibly have depression, even when i self harm. then my bestfriend left me, because she complained that i was toxic when she was the one constantly ignoring me. she has diagnosed depression, and my teachers knew i was her bsf, so they also put all their pressure on me and said that i have to take care of her. being pressured, i put her above my own needs and cared more about her than myself. i feel like a nobody at this point. honestly i cant deal with this anymore, and ive almost tried to kms before but couldnt bring myself to. i know other poeple have it worse, which makes me feel guilty for even feeling this way. i feel bad for venting like that, knowing other people are going throught worse sh than me. ive tried to resist the urge of self harming, and im trying to stay clean having done it before. more bc my parents are going to scold me for it. idk, why bother to even continue on.
Hi @syeiryn
It sounds like you feel overwhelmed due to your situation at school, both from academics and social life with regards to your friend.
First of, I want to commend you on your maturity in trying to stay clean from self-harm, and for also respecting your parents wants. It is not easy to priorities the needs of others and to do what’s right over what you want. Very commendable for you to display such mature thinking at your young age of only primary 5. Many adults don’t even display your level of selflessness lol!
Sounds like you are experiencing a lot of friendship trouble right now too. Adolescent friendships are often a tricky thing to navigate. It sounds like there’s alot of drama involved in these dynamics and it must be exhausting.
I’m also really sorry to hear that you are unable to trust your parents. Seems like you feel like your parents don’t prioritize your well being and are misjudging you for being lazy when you’re trying your best as much as possible.
To be frank with you, most of our parents, are not mature enough even for their big age. Perhaps you can try to talk to them and tell them more about your point of view. If they resist again (“bc when i try to tell them how i feel”), you can try to talk about it to a trusted adult such as your form teacher. Your school counsellor would be a good choice too.
All the best! I hope you find someone you can trust and feel comfortable with in your life. It must be lonely.
Wishing you the best
Hi Thank you for being very honest and open here. I know it is not easy to open up. At the age of P5, you are very mature and help your best friend a lot. It is not easy to be facing pressure with studies, taking care about your best friend, and dealing with school. It is normal to feel in this way as it is a very difficult situation to be in.
To be honest, sometimes, our parents could not understand from our point of view. I would recommend to talk to them again and tell them in a calm way about how you are feeling. However, sometimes, parents might not understand us . Thus, I suggest that you might consider to speak to your form teacher or your counsellor.
It is okay to feel what you are feeling especially when you have so many expectations from others. Many people also felt overwhelmed in this kind of difficult situation. It is also important to take care of ourselves. You are also important to your parents.
Hello @syeiryn 
! Thank you for sharing your experience. It seems like you have a lot on your plate and are under a lot of stress. Feeling this way is not a sign of weakness or selfishness. You seem to have been doing all you can, but when others close to you don’t quite understand what you’re going through, it may be difficult to keep going.
Firstly, what you’re going through is valid and it doesn’t make your suffering any less genuine or significant just because others may be going through difficult times. No matter what, you deserve to be heard and supported.
You’re not lazy, it just feels like you’re swamped and trapped. It seems more like you’re suffering from sadness or emotional tiredness, which may make it difficult to concentrate on anything, particularly schoolwork. Sometimes, as a coping mechanism, our thoughts shut down when we feel like we’re slipping behind or can’t keep up.
I understand that PSLE can be overwhelming, stressful, or scary. For now, you can take small steps at a time. Try focusing on one thing at a time. Next, if you feel like you’re not heard, express yourself through journaling. Lastly, you can get support here 
Hello @syeiryn,
Thanks for reaching out.
I can see that you are really struggling with this situation. You’ve shared with me that you have thoughts about killing/harming yourself. I acknowledge the braveness in sharing these thoughts with me.
If you’re able to, please approach SOS or IMH immediately as they are able work through with you on these issues you are facing. To make sure you’re kept safe until you manage to get the necessary help, please approach a trusted friend/family member to highlight your struggles and to accompany you in the meantime.
Please also remove all sharp objects in your surroundings and make sure that they are kept out of sight.
Please call either of these numbers should you require immediate assistance:
SOS – 1-767
IMH – 6389 2222
I feel you I am primary 5 now and the expectations.
@user6543 Oh dear 
how are you feeling and how have you been coping? 
we are here to support you too!
Hi @syeiryn,
I know I’m just a stranger on the internet, but if it helps, I’m a 15 year old, and I just wanted to give you some advice in a big sister way. Firstly, I would like to acknowledge your bravery on speaking up, even if it’s on the internet where no one can even know who you are, that is really a huge first step, one that many would not make. But secondly, from your little vent, I can tell that its raw and filled with so much hurt which makes it even more heartbreaking, but I really think that you should not be taking your life even when everything seems to be looking upside down. There are other ways of coping with these huge emotions of feeling pressure, trapped and confused. I would suggest that you try picky pads, picking up a new hobby, colouring or even just talking to a school therapist. I’m not sure If you’ll trust me but I just wanted you to know that you are cared for, loved, special and unique, so please just don’t do anything reckless.
Hey @syeiryn,
I’m really glad you reached out and shared what you’re going through. It takes so much courage to open up when you’re hurting, and I want you to know that you’re not alone💙
I can hear how exhausted you are from constantly comparing yourself to others and how heavy that cycle feels. Those comparisons can be so cruel to us - they steal our joy and make it impossible to see our own worth. I want to let you know that you are important, worthy and cherished. You deserve more than that endless loop of self-doubt.
The situation with your friend sounds painful too. When someone we care about repeatedly hurts us, it’s natural to feel angry and frustrated. Your feelings about this are completely understandable, and you have every right to protect your peace. You deserve friendships that lift you up, not tear you down. There are people out there who will see and appreciate you for who you are
Please don’t feel guilty about having these feelings or for needing to talk about them. Your emotions are real, they matter, and sharing them shows incredible self-awareness and strength. You’re not a burden for struggling - you’re human.
I’m deeply concerned about the thoughts of self-harm you mentioned, and I’m so grateful you trusted us with something so difficult to share. Right now, your safety is what matters most. Please reach out for professional support immediately - these feelings are too heavy to carry alone
SOS: 1-767 (24/7 crisis support)
IMH: 6389 2222 (Institute of Mental Health)
While you’re getting help, please stay close to someone you trust - a family member or friend who can be with you. Also, please remove any objects that could be used for self-harm from your immediate space.
You matter, your life has value, and there are people who want to help you through this. You don’t have to face this darkness alone.
Take care of yourself, sending much love and hugs for you 
Hello, thank you for sharing. I understand that it is not easy having to balance academics as well as school life.
It is also perfectly okay to take some breaks from your work, as this will help you to consolidate the infornation you have just learnt, and celebrating small wins - such as figuring out a question you have been stuck on for a long time or finishing your homework will really go a long way.
You can also consider sharing your struggles and thoughts to the school counsellor and use resources here on mindline. It does help to share your feelings with someone, as your feelings should be heard 
Rooting for you OP! 