inability to change

[okay]

today when i was attending counselling sessions the counsellor told me that i was stuck in a mental loop, as most mental issues are, and that unless i manage to break free from this, i might not have the power to change or something along those lines blah blah blah

im scared of changing. because if i do i feel like i would be hollowed out and strippes of my identity also like i get scared because when i heal i cant relate to people w mental issues anymore and that makes me a bad listener. i remember someone posting something like talk to people who are mentally unwell they get you the best so i feel like in order to understand the world i need to be sad. in fact most of my hobbies spawn from my sadness i guess. i dont know anymore. also the cycle that i mentioned began from like an incident involving someone that meant a lot to me. even though it’s been 1.5 years from the incident i keep on revisiting it because it brings me comfort and i strangely feel safe thinking about it despite being traumatic in a way i guess.

i dont know whats wrong w me. maybe im overreacting and i dont need counselling and i should progress w life normally. maybe i chose to become like this so its onky my fault

[FuYuan_Affections]

Hey @okay,

It takes a lot of courage to open up about these deep-seated concerns, and I hope that you feel better in sharing your thoughts and fears with us. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now, and it’s understandable to feel scared and unsure about change.

The idea of being stuck in a mental loop can be daunting, especially when change feels like it might strip away your identity. It’s normal to be scared of change, but it’s important to remember that change doesn’t mean losing who you are. It means growing and evolving, and sometimes, it’s the key to finding new aspects of yourself that you might really appreciate.

Your fear of not being able to relate to people with mental issues if you heal is very valid. Many people worry that healing might distance them from their current support systems or make them less empathetic. However, healing doesn’t mean you lose your empathy or your ability to understand others. In fact, it can make you an even better listener and supporter because you’ve experienced the journey of recovery and can share that perspective.

It’s also understandable to feel comfort in revisiting past incidents, even if they were traumatic. This can be a way of trying to make sense of what happened and finding a sense of safety in the familiar. However, it’s important to find a balance and not let these past events keep you stuck in a cycle that prevents you from moving forward.

Your hobbies and the things you enjoy don’t have to disappear if you start to feel better. Often, as we heal, we find new ways to engage with our interests and even discover new passions. Healing can open up more opportunities for joy and fulfillment.

It’s important to remember that you are not overreacting, and seeking help through counselling is a positive step toward taking care of your mental health. Progressing with life normally is a good goal, but it’s okay to need support along the way. You didn’t choose to become like this, and it’s not your fault. Mental health struggles are complex and can be influenced by many factors.

Here are a few things to consider:

Embrace the Journey: Healing is a process, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. You don’t have to rush or force yourself to change all at once.
Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Recognize that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to be scared. Change can be difficult, but it can also be incredibly rewarding.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many people have faced similar fears and found ways to heal while still maintaining their empathy and connection to others. You have the strength and resilience to navigate this and progress w life normally. What you choose, you have to believe that you are doing your best to cope, so it is not about being your only fault. Hope that it helps.