Feeling of not Good Enough

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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Hi Guys, Im Mano Esperanza ( stage name that means the Hand of hope in Spanish )

I used to think that my guitar playing was good enough but recently i was not selected for an event that showcase the best of singapore guitarist.
I felt down and even when i play my songs now, i feel that im just stupid to think that they were of some worth.

I struggled the same with my singing. Been told many times that i need to improve and sorts and even saw a Shrink / Psychologist for it.

Is it normal to feel that you are’nt good enough for anything eventhough you have put decades to the artform ?

By the way i dont know if its my Schizo affective Bipolar side that is making me feel this way. I have taken meds on the regular but this is a hit to the gut.

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Hi @ManoEsperanza

Your stage name sounds inspiring! Thanks for sharing the meaning of it! It sounds like you are struggling with your feelings as you have encountered a challenge that makes you reconsider your talents. It must be difficult feeling this way as you have been putting in a lot of effort through the years.

It is definitely tough when things do not go as expected. I hope you know that 1 event does not represent your entire career, nor does it define your worth or skills. Maybe you are doubting yourself right now because of what happened and you need support to believe in yourself again. It is perfectly normal to feel this way seeing how the performance is so important to you.

Perhaps we can try different ways to get you back up again and learn to trust yourself.

  1. Reflect on your past achievements and acknowledge the effort you have put in over the years. By acknowledging these experiences, you are giving yourself a wider lens to look at the situation. Right now, you seem to be so focused on the recent event, thus forgetting how talented you have been.
  2. Positive support. It might be helpful to talk to people who can support you and believe in you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need. Sometimes talking to people can provide emotional support and perhaps a different perspective to your situation.
  3. Acknowledge your emotions. Know that what you are feeling now is valid and allow them to flow without judgement. It is okay to feel sad, frustrated or disappointed.
  4. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that it is a setback and you are much more worthy. Engage in activities that makes you feel good about yourself.
  5. Setting goals. Break down your goals into small actionable steps to rebuild your confidence. This can also help you in identifying a sense of purpose in what you do.
  6. Continue visits to the psychologist and keep up with medication. It is good to know that you are already seeking support and being on regular medication to maintain your mood. Maintenance and consistency is helpful in improving your situation.

I really hope you get the strength to stand up and perform again. We cannot appeal to everyone, so it is helpful to focus on the right audience. Take care and all the best!

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Thank you @Raindrop ,

Yeah its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I just woke up from a 2 day slumber with 2-3 hours waking up then sleep again. Guess im just depressed. I did try to reach out to professionals but these kind of things are in their KPI so its not their interest.

Yes you are right 1 event should not determine the whole career however i had so many set backs. I am looking forward to just do what i aim to do which is to tell stories in form of songs to inspire others to get out of the gutter.

Ironically i have a few songs that say thing like - " Don’t worry too much things will work out, the overwhelming feeling will go away, you have made it so far, make it thru the day ".

thanks again for the reply and wishing you a great week ahead