Hello, I haven’t had the time to sit down and read through the updates until now. Its truly unfortunate what’s going on with your working situation and seems really tough on you. Have you found the opportunity to sit down and discuss with Lilly yet?
About long distance relationships, I don’t think you need to worry about whether they will last. I have some of my own friends who are in long distance relationship with someone else overseas, where they only get to meet their partner once a year, and they rant to me about it, so I know some of the experiences people in long distance relationships go through. My friend’s relationship has been going on for 2 years now so I’m sure as long as you both continuously find ways to spend time together even when you’re apart, there’s no need to worry that long distance relationships don’t last.
Hello, it’s really nice of you to take Lilly out for Mother’s day, I’m sure she really appreciated that!
At the part you mentioned this:
Then there is a montage of him with a big smile on his face. He’s walking with a smile, brushing his teeth with a smile, laying in bed sleepless with a smile, sitting at his desk at work with a smile, showing he’s in love. Then there are several montages of them together doing different things, including living together as a couple.
I’m curious to know, did you imagine you and Lilly one day doing the same, living harmoniously together?
I just want you to know, that it’s perfectly okay to let out your feelings and cry, it just means you feel really deeply about your loved ones, and it’s good to cry!
Giving you my best wishes as you continue to explore and discover more about your life together with Lilly.
Hello @Rozumi Yes, the working situation is tough, but I’ve been in tough spots before. My hope of course is we get funding to keep us going. That’s a long shot, but I have to keep hoping.
I did tell Lilly yesterday that I had a job interview in Southern California, but I don’t think she seriously thinks I will move out there. I may not even get the job, I may not be a fit for the company, etc. If I did get it, there are a lot of possibilities I would need to consider…I have house here, I have two children, well adults now. My daughter is 24 and my son is 21 and is in University. So much to consider if I were to get a job offer. And thank you for sharing your friends long distance relationships, I don’t know if I would be able to handle one, to be totally honest.
As far as the montage, not sure what triggered the emotions. I definitely think about Lilly all the time when we are apart, and she does bring a smile to my face. Although we’ve spent the night together many times, I’m not sure if she is ready, or if I am ready at that to live together. We are a lot alike, we are also culturally different, she likes to go out with her girlfriends and drink and do karaoke, that’s just not something I’m into. I came from a vastly different background. And I’ll just leave it there.
But, we also have a lot in common as well, and I’m working on that part for now
Hello, it sounds like you had a wonderful time with Lilly which is great to hear!
It’s great that you both took the time to enjoy each other’s company before you left for the trip
It’s so nice that she asked you to send photos of your trip! it’s a great way to start conversations, you could send 2 animals or objects facing each other and say " this made me think of you ", that’s the kind of picture I send to my partner all the time, haha.
In the event this doesn’t work out, it’s perfectly alright to take a step down from the dating world, there’s lots of people out there living fulfilled lives without a partner.
Regardless, I’ll be here tuning in for any more future updates
Hello, it’s nice that you did manage to speak to Lilly about your work situation. I understand that it’s really difficult to find a secure job nowadays with the tariffs and AI uprising.
I do think it’s hard for Lilly to accept the possibility of you moving away since you have recently travelled over to be with her. I don’t know what your job scope is, but maybe you could look for remote jobs that doesn’t need you to travel out?
It’s good to have differences in hobbies between you and Lilly, there’s no need to do every single thing together, though there needs to be a balance between spending time together and spending time apart on your own interests.
For what you mentioned about living together, there’s no need to rush into it. Take your time and pace, you could have Lilly stay for a few days if she’d like, then a week, then see if she’s ready to move in with you.
Well I’m here day two in SoCal, and have one more day here before I leave, but it feels like I’ve been here weeks. On Friday I interviewed with a company here in SoCal, and I think the impact of me getting a job and moving out here didn’t hit her until after I interviewed, which was half the day. I sent her details, and she didn’t return my texts or calls the whole day. Finally in the evening I texted her if she was upset with me, and she finally answered me she had been busy, but I’m sure she was upset by her one sentence responses.
I reassured her I wasn’t going to take the job if they offer it to me. It’s a huge company, with a campus of 10 buildings and 10,000 employees. Although the compensation package is excellent (better than my current one), I would just be a number and face in a sea of faces in this huge company. And to be totally honest, I really don’t want to pickup my life and move 400 miles away.
She texted me this morning that she wasn’t upset with me, and said she can’t wait for me to return. I will be leaving here on Monday morning, I really want to leave tomorrow, but I have family obligations tomorrow. I really, really miss her, I haven’t been able to sleep much thinking about her. I hope to get home soon so I can be with her again
I just want to make one final post, as I don’t know if or when I will have the time to post again. Well I have a pretty big update. Lilly wants to do a trial living together. I’ll admit, this was a pretty big surprise to me. A pleasant one, but still a surprise.
I have a son and daughter, my son is away attending University and is way too busy to care, but my 24 year old daughter is not happy. In her eyes, nobody can replace “Mom”, and I can’t blame her, because nobody can. And with Lily being 10 years younger than me, she doesn’t see that very favorably. And Lilly is such a different personality than my wife was, they couldn’t be more different. Anyway, I’ll get over that hurdle when I can.
Going back to moving in together, she wants to start with Friday through Monday’s. She keeps her apartment and stays with me. And if it works, she slowly transitions over the year, still keeping her apartment.
I admit, I’m totally excited, but still a little nervous, I didn’t expect this. I’m happy this is what she wants, but nervous to implement it. Spending weekends together where she brings (or I bring) a toothbrush and a change of clothes is one thing, but actually living together is not something I put a lot of thought into. I really thought this would be a fling and nothing more, but it seems to be evolving.
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings in anyway, so I said yes. We are going to officially start the process in June
Hey @user5696 , thank you so much for the update , it’s really touching to read how things are evolving. and It’s clear how much you care, not just about Lily but also about your kids, and how you’re trying to navigate this new chapter with honesty and sensitivity.
I think it’s completely natural to feel both excited and nervous. you’re honoring something real that’s growing in its own way, and that takes courage.
and about your daughter - I hear you, it’s understandable that this is hard for her. as you said- no one can replace her mom, and it sounds like this step brings up a lot of emotions. Her response may not be about Lily personally, but more about the change and what it represents. with time, care, and continued love from you, there’s room for her to process things at her own pace.
Wishing you a smooth and meaningful transition
Thank you again for sharing
That is really good to learn that things are progressing in a positive direction between you and Lily.
Regarding your daughter, it is understandable for her to have strong feelings of this situation, so it is important to acknowledge her emotions and reassure her that nobody can replace her mom. Like what @Moodini_6 said, she may not be ready for the additional member in the family. It would take time for her to adjust. Maybe having an open conversation with her about your feelings and the reasons behind your decision could help her understand your perspective better.
Yes, the working situation is tough, but I’ve been in tough spots before. My hope of course is we get funding to keep us going. That’s a long shot, but I have to keep hoping.
