First job but stressed out…

I’m constantly worried about not meeting my boss expectation. I’ve heard many bad things about the company since the start of my week and I’m stressed out immensely. The only reason I accepted this job was because the pay was descent, but now I’m starting to regret taking up on the offer. The boss has an incredibly high expectation and it worries me…


it would be good if you could get a chance to communicate with your boss, either via email or in person, to understand his expectations and for him to hear your concerns.

if that is not possible, bosses always appreciate employees who show enthusiasm and a positive attitude towards their work.

be willing to learn from your colleagues, and offer to lend your help readily.

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Hi @Ranger111,

Thanks for coming on and sharing about what you’re going through. Sounds like you’re struggling with meeting expectations at work given this is your first job. First off, I want to commend you on securing a job and it makes sense for you to be worried given the circumstances - what you’re thinking and feeling is valid. :people_hugging:

Have you found yourself worried to this extent before? How would you cope in situations like this? I wonder if your thoughts about not living up to (real or perceived) expectations occur in other areas of your life too? :thinking:This could warrant some exploration into certain needs that are not met or had been taken from you.

Now, let’s explore a bit more with meeting expectations at work - are the standards sensible and fair for a person new into the role? Perhaps being able to express your concerns with your boss during a time with minimal likelihood of interruptions could be helpful. I wonder if it could be helpful if you have ideas or suggestions on what (like removing barriers or increasing support towards you) can help you carry out work in a manner that is productive, and not at the expense of wellbeing. :slightly_smiling_face: This negotiation could lead to an outcome that is win-win for all parties involved. For everyone to feel comfortable with the outcome, it would require some brainstorming to invent options/alternatives for mutual gain that doesn’t disadvantage anyone. Of course, this is probably not a one-off discussion so tap on your coping abilities to try to tolerate the distress.

And, to help with the distress, try to notice when you’re starting to feel tense and try to take deep breaths (consider this practice) to calm yourself. This could also give you a pause and help you to regain clarity to figure out what you can do at that moment. Let us know what you think about this? Remember that you deserve and can get the necessary support you need. Until then, take care!

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Thank you for the solid advise, part of the reason why I’m worried is because this is my first job. However, I did not have any guidance since the start of the work and employees in the company does not seem to know what the boss actually wants. I was told to redo a work 3-4 times this week by the employee, and the boss said that this wasn’t what he wants . The employee started changing his tune saying this isn’t what boss want either, even though he was the one who advise me on changing it to that way. I am beginning to realize that I can’t really rely on anyone here, I’ll have to ask my boss directly for things…I’m also worried because a lot of people get fired during probations and the boss seem pretty bias, like if employee A and B work on the same project but the project went terribly, he’ll blame the one he don’t like. Either way I just hope I can last a year.

I have supportive parents and a few friends. My parents said that if I get fired then so be it because I’ve already told them my problems. I am just worried about finding a job again this year due to the bad economy…

I’ll admit though that I tend to worry a lot and sometimes I worry too much it affects my sleep.

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(post deleted by author)

My situation is a bit more complicated than that. I have not have actual guidance since the start of work, none of the employees seem to know what the boss wants either. I’ve also notice that the boss is bias towards those he likes and don’t, if both employees were to work in a project and project somehow went wrong, the boss will blame the one he does not like.


from the sounds of it, you have a difficult boss to work for.

based on the information given, here are two things you could consider:-

  1. learn to manage your stress - find things you enjoy doing eg doing some sports or participating in social activities to relieve your stress level.

  2. explore the job market - while still employed, start looking out for job opportunities or check out skillsfuture courses that could enhance your employability.

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Probably not the best experience in your first job. Have you done any internships before and see how other companies do it?

That’s quite worrying because your performance seems to be very subjective and dependent on your boss’s preferences. Do your other colleagues feel the same way? Maybe can get some advice from them too on how to deal with this situation. They may not be able to help much in deciphering what the boss wants since they also seem lost but hopefully they can share some of their own experience and coping methods.

Actually one year doesn’t make much difference I feel. No need to “clock time”. If there are a lot of red flags, it might be better to start looking for a new job now. It’ll take another 6 months to find a new job anyway. The job market should be okay for fresh graduates like yourself.

All the best! I hope things get better for you