I’m currently nearing 11 months into my first full-time job since graduating. Since the start of this career, I’ve been feeling extremely anxious and stressed — to the point where I constantly feel like I’m underperforming or not good enough at my job.
The anxiety gets quite overwhelming at times. I’ve had to rely on breathing techniques just to calm myself down. It affects my personal life too — I often avoid going out because of how stressed I feel, and I experience really intense Sunday scaries every weekend.
I started seeing a therapist last year to cope with these feelings. While the sessions help a little in the moment, the anxiety and stress usually return once I’m back at home or at work.
One of the main reasons for my anxiety is that I get very fearful whenever I’m assigned a task by my boss. I tend to assume I’ll do it wrongly or struggle with it, even before I start. I also find myself especially uncomfortable with tasks that involve strategic thinking — like coming up with proposals or campaigns. I just don’t feel confident in that area and worry that I’m not cut out for it which is pretty tough.
From what I understand, my boss is generally satisfied with my performance and is likely to confirm me at the end of my 1-year probation. But despite that, I still feel anxious and stressed every day - really just worrying everyday.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel stuck — like I’m living to survive each day rather than actually growing or thriving in this role.