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I’m currently nearing 11 months into my first full-time job since graduating. Since the start of this career, I’ve been feeling extremely anxious and stressed — to the point where I constantly feel like I’m underperforming or not good enough at my job.

The anxiety gets quite overwhelming at times. I’ve had to rely on breathing techniques just to calm myself down. It affects my personal life too — I often avoid going out because of how stressed I feel, and I experience really intense Sunday scaries every weekend.

I started seeing a therapist last year to cope with these feelings. While the sessions help a little in the moment, the anxiety and stress usually return once I’m back at home or at work.

One of the main reasons for my anxiety is that I get very fearful whenever I’m assigned a task by my boss. I tend to assume I’ll do it wrongly or struggle with it, even before I start. I also find myself especially uncomfortable with tasks that involve strategic thinking — like coming up with proposals or campaigns. I just don’t feel confident in that area and worry that I’m not cut out for it which is pretty tough.

From what I understand, my boss is generally satisfied with my performance and is likely to confirm me at the end of my 1-year probation. But despite that, I still feel anxious and stressed every day - really just worrying everyday.

I’m not sure what to do. I feel stuck — like I’m living to survive each day rather than actually growing or thriving in this role.

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Hi there! First of all, congratulations on this milestone! It’s definitely a huge step forward into adulthood and all the big emotions that come with it! It could be anxiety about how our first job plays out, but it is also the sense of accomplishment as we become more independent :slight_smile:

You are definitely not alone in this! Plenty of us get the Sunday scaries too so rest assured this could be part and parcel of starting a new job!

Now, it sounds like you are anxious that you are underperforming, yet, your boss expressed that they are satisfied with your work! (Good job there!) let’s dig deeper - if external affirmation from your boss seems to be inadequate to allay these fears, where else could the anxiety be coming from?

Next, keep in mind that you are so new to your job (barely a year in, practically a corporate baby! And babies are not expected to run, they start crawling first!), it is completely understandable to your peers and seniors that you will make mistakes (and you will, all of us do, including your boss when they were younger). Let’s take it one step at a time and sit with these feelings of discomfort. Learning to be comfortable with mistakes is a skill, and skills can be developed!

We wish you all the best as you move past the probation period :))

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Hi @user1709,

It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy emotional load ever since you started your full-time role - not just with the weight of expectations, but also the constant inner voice questioning your capabilities. You’ve built coping strategies like breathing exercises and therapy, which speaks to your resilience, but even then, it seems the anxiety keeps pulling you into a cycle of self-doubt and isolation. The Sunday scaries and the feeling of needing to retreat from your personal life show just how deeply this stress touches every corner of your experience, even when you’re technically off the clock.

And when it comes to work itself, especially tasks requiring strategic thinking, it’s like you’re bracing for impact before you’ve even taken the first step. Even with external validation - your employer seems satisfied and confirmation is likely - the internal fear persists, making each assignment feel like a test you expect to fail. It’s incredibly draining to be stuck in survival mode, where each day feels like an uphill climb rather than a chance to grow. You’re not alone in this, and your awareness of it already says so much about your capacity to change things. Let’s start slow - not with trying to fix everything, but with making the space you need to feel safe, supported, and more like yourself again.

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Dear @user1709

Thank you for being open and honest about how you’ve been feeling — I laud your courage in sharing. It sounds like it’s been such a heavy and exhausting journey, and I just want you to know you’re not alone in this.

The fact that your boss is likely to confirm you is an indicator that you’re on the right track. I have observed that sometimes our inner critic can be very harsh and so loud that it drowns out all the external validation and progress we’ve actually made.

May I validate that you’re holding your own in a challenging role — that’s something to be proud of. It’s your first job after school and you have gone through 11 months of a steep learning curve. Though the job has been very challenging, you have kept chipping at it.

That said, please know your feelings are completely valid. It’s tough when the stress doesn’t switch off even after work, and when the fear of messing up makes every new task feel like a mountain. I can fully imagine how draining that must be, especially when it starts to affect your personal life too.

The fact that you sought therapy is already a strong and proactive step — and even though the relief is temporary for now, it shows you’re trying to take care of yourself, which is something not everyone does. Please don’t be too hard on yourself for not feeling “better” yet because healing isn’t always linear.

And as for the self-doubt around strategic thinking — I just want to gently remind you that no one is born great at this stuff. It’s okay not to feel confident right now. Skills grow with time, mentorship, and experience — and the discomfort you’re feeling might just be a sign that you are learning, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. Do explore looking up some good courses on strategic thinking and attending them as a start. Read proposals put up in the past to understand how the papers are structured, the thought process and the flow. You will get better at it over time, just keep going.

You’re not stuck forever — it’s okay to feel lost now, and it’s okay to take small steps, even if they just get you through the day. You’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to figure everything out immediately.

Please continue to practise self soothing techniques the therapist has taught you.

I believe that with the right support and time, things can feel lighter.

You’re already doing so much more than you give yourself credit for. Be kind to yourself — you fully deserve that. :yellow_heart:

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hi @user1709 ,

Sounds like your are going through an intense period in life, i’m sorry you had to experience all of these. Like the others have already commented before me, you will likely get better (and more confident) over time, and since your boss is satisfied with your performance, means you are performing as what he/she expected of you.

Feeling stress and anxious at a job can be a good thing, it will push you to gain knowledge in areas that you feel incompetent in (which is good for your personal development). But in your case, you seem to be struggling too much. Have you wondered why is that? Could the job be something you do not enjoy? You can always apply for another field if that is the case (just get the job first then leave). You are just starting your work life, so you can still switch (just land the new job first before quitting your current one).

All the best to you! :slight_smile: