I am a 20-year-old man, and I just enlisted in NS on 18 August 2026. Since April this year, I have been experiencing some form of GAD. It started mildly, as I started experiencing some anxious thoughts. It started off as intrusive thoughts; I remembered one instance when I had an intrusive thought after I finished brushing my teeth and my younger brother was there that came like this: “what if my younger brother had done something bad to my toothbrush, for example he dipped in poop or something”. I remembered I was pacing back and forth and looking at him. It gradually became worse and worse until I started questioning everything. I can still go through life, but almost every few minutes, I get a hesitation, like a what if or an intrusive thought. I know for a fact that most if not all those what if and intrusive thoughts are not real and are things I would never do or the people around me such as my loved ones and friends would probably never do. Also, I realised I’ve been ruminating about a lot of random things such as after I speak a sentence and I would ruminate on a word or number. I also noticed myself experiencing many symptoms of anxiety, such as heart palpitations, nervous sweating, semi-loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping on some nights. Thankfully, I visited the MO and explained my symptoms to him and he referred me to the psychiatrist SOC at NUH. At this point in time, I just try my best to cope with my symptoms by doing the things and hobbies I love, such as playing the piano, exercising, listening to music, reading books, and try to start studying again as I already got a spot at NUS Engineering in 2028 after I complete my NS! I have a strong and resolute mindset that I will be able to overcome my anxiety someday, but of course I will not wait until my anxiety subsides to live a meaningful and fruitful life as I know I always I have my family and friends, and people around me to count on and get through this tough time together with me.
Hi @safereindeer3069, the self-awareness and clarity you’ve brought to describing your experience is remarkable, especially for someone who only just enlisted and is navigating all of this while adjusting to NS life simultaneously.
What you’re describing, the rumination on words and numbers, the physical anxiety symptoms and the way it’s gradually intensified sounds like it’s been genuinely disruptive. The fact that you know the thoughts aren’t real and aren’t reflective of who you are is an important insight and it’s something that may work with the psychiatrist at NUH.
What stands out most to me though is your mindset. You’re not waiting to be fully better before living your life, you’re acknowledging the struggle while still moving forward. That’s a mature and healthy way to approach this.
I do hope that you’re assimilating well into the NS routine. If you feel that things are getting overwhelming and you need to speak to someone about it, you may want to sound it out to your superiors in camp or you may call the SAF Counselling Helpline at 1800-278-0022.
Take care!