this isn’t all that major I just recognized something that’s bothering me
im starting to find many similarities with my coworker who enrages me with my father. my coworker will NEVRE take accountibilty, always blaming someone else. my dad would pin all the blame on my mom or me and my brother. even if its has the most nonsensical explaination, he would go with it which makes me angry that they treat my like a naive toddler. “she must have thrown my important things away to give it to the homeless” WHAT THE FAAAALP Are you talking about? WHy would my mom even TOUCH your things?? they would relate things with the SLIGHTTESST BIT connection and call it a day. now my rage is slowly shifting from coworker to my dad even though before, I’ve never quite took his words seriously OR I haven’t really taken the time to process or smt. it never bothered me so idk why I’m THAT angry right now. he would say things like “its not that I’m racist, but they are disgusting. Im just stating facts” my dad groups an entire nationality together and call THEM disgusting instead of the individual person. it’s sickening and now that I’m getting more aware, the more I start listening to the small details. and boy its SO INFURIATING. maybe he didn’t mean it, and I definitely don’t need to take his words to heart as sometimes he might be joking
other than that I still care for my dad cus he’s the goat I absolutely despise sometimes anyways thanks for reading
Hey there, thanks for sharing something so personal. It makes sense that you’re feeling this way. Once you start noticing a pattern, it can suddenly make you more aware of the same behaviour in someone closer to you, like your dad. It’s almost like your tolerance shifts, and things that didn’t fully register before now feel a lot more intense and frustrating.
Your anger isn’t coming out of nowhere. It sounds like it’s tied to feeling dismissed, blamed unfairly, or talked down to, and those are things most people would react strongly to. On top of that, hearing comments that don’t sit right with your values can make it even harder, because it’s not just about irritation anymore, it’s about what you believe is right and fair.
At the same time, it’s also okay that your feelings about your dad are mixed. You can care about him and still feel angry at certain behaviours. Those two things can exist together without canceling each other out.
It might help to give yourself a bit of space from engaging in those moments when you feel your anger rising to protect your own peace. You don’t have to agree with everything he says, and you don’t have to take it on as something you need to fix or argue every time.
What you’re feeling is valid. You’re just becoming more aware of your own boundaries and values, and sometimes that awareness can feel intense at first. Be gentle with yourself while you sort through it:)
