My mom complains a lot but the way she complains is very confusing if she wants the household to solve her problems.
For example, when me and my father recently bought ice cream as planned, my mom suddenly said they could have gone and buy her a friend chicken, but the thing is my mom didn’t even say anything about it UNTIL we got home and then started to blame me and my father. Her reasoning doesn’t make sense. She thinks we were supposed to know what she wants (then again, she didn’t say anything about what she wants).
Yesterday, me and my father made egg bread and my mom agreed to it but then today she complained that because we used some of the bread to make that egg bread she claims there is not enough breakfast for her (she’s a picky eater, she rarely expands her food options and mostly just eats the same thing, not just breakfast)
So that’s that. It feels as if out of the blue, she starts blaming people. Even when a day is going good, she somehow finds a reason to complain and blame others, especially myself and my father.
How to cope and deal with this?
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Hi @undying_sun, wow this must be incredibly frustrating and stressful for you..it seems like your mother may have some unresolved anger that keeps getting redirected towards you and your father. I understand that it can become overwhelming to deal with this frequently, and you do not deserve to be treated as such, especially by your own mother! Have you or your father been able to talk to her about this while she is in a calmer mood? From what I have read, it seems as if there may be something deeper that she may be upset about, leading to her lashing out on the both of you. In situations like this, talking things out would be most effective. However, I do realise that this is easier said than done as you mentioned that she “starts blaming people” out of nowhere and may become defensive when confronted. In moments like this, it might help to physically remove yourself from the situation for a while to process your own emotions and not let her scoldings dampen your mood. Perhaps you can try going to your room or leaving the house for a while, engage in hobbies you enjoy or exercise a few grounding techniques? At the end of the day, as an adult, I believe that she should communicate in a more constructive manner, instead of speaking with such hostility towards you! Remember that while you cannot change the behaviours of others, you can learn to cope with your emotions and respond in a calmer manner. This way, you are able to maintain some peace of mind for yourself instead of letting her behaviour affect your mood greatly. Please take care! 
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