My mom is very weird she would blame me for the fact that I don’t open up to her but how do you want me to open up to you if you dont give me the support I need and when I open up ranting about how I feel you would blame me and make me feel guilty for opening up because I am now blaming her but what the actual freak both of my parents have never emotionally been there my dad says that he’s given me a roof a phone and meals and I should appreciate that but that’s THE BARE MINIMUM a parent should be doing he always blames me for who I am and even tiny mistakes like accidentally spilling drinks but seriously last time you would cane me last time when I was little you would lock me outside sometimes I was squeezed between the 2 doors you would blame me for who I am but have you thought it was your fault that I was like that the environment you placed me in and both of you decide that oh she’s growing up she will forget about it and heal but seriously what do you expect from me I AM STILL A CHILD I am still a kid!your daughter who wants you to be there emotionally and mentally not just the bare minimum and if you can’t control your emotions have you thought that it would affect your child?
hey @user8446, i can hear how hurt & frustrated you are, and tbh that’s so valid… it sounds like you’ve been craving emotional support from your parents for a long time, but instead of comfort you’ve been met with blame. that’s rlly painful, esp when all you want is to feel understood and cared for… 
you’re right: providing sustenance & shelter is the bare minimum – emotional safety and support matter just as much. the fact that you can see and put into words what you need but don’t get shows sm self-awareness. none of this is your fault: you were a child responding to the environment around you, and it makes sense that it still affects you now.
you deserve to be treated with gentleness and care. if it helps, maybe you could consider reaching out to sb safe (eg. a trusted friend or counsellor)? so that you have the space to talk about what you’ve been carrying.
you don’t have to deal with all of this alone. take care of yourself, ok? i hope your family situation gets better soon 
Hey @user8446 You’ve been through a lot and it sounds like your parents’ reactions left deep marks, especially when you were just trying to be heard. No child should have to feel guilty for having feelings or needing care.
It makes sense that those memories still stay with you. I mean, those were moments when you needed safety and love most. Sometimes, when parents struggle with their own emotions, they pass that pain on instead of learning how to hold space for their child. That doesn’t make what they did okay, but it can remind us that their inability to support you wasn’t a reflection of your worth.
Even though you didn’t get the emotional care you needed, the fact that you can name what was missing shows such strength and clarity. You’re already breaking a cycle by recognizing the difference between basic needs and emotional connection.
Healing from that kind of hurt takes time, but you don’t have to face it alone. I’m so glad you shared it here like getting it out and being heard can be one of the first steps toward letting go of what’s been hurting inside.
Wishing you moments of comfort, kindness, and peace as you continue taking care of yourself 
Hello @user8446 thank you for sharing this here. It really sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of pain and confusion, and I can only imagine how overwhelming that must feel. You mentioned that your mom wants you to open up, but when you do, she blames you and makes you feel guilty. That’s incredibly hurtful and can make it very difficult to trust or feel safe sharing your feelings again.
You’re also right that the environment we grow up in shapes how we see ourselves and others. It sounds like you’ve had to deal with a lot without the emotional support every child deserves. You have every right to want your parents to be there for you not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too.
You deserve understanding, compassion, and care. None of this is your fault. Reaching out and expressing what you feel, like you did here, already shows a lot of strength and self-awareness. Please try to be gentle with yourself as you process all of this, and if it ever feels too heavy, it could really help to talk to a trusted adult, counsellor, or mental health professional. You don’t have to go through it alone.
They duno how to express, the older Gen esp 
, same my old fogey got such take for granted rudeness too, But he owes US 
everytime for being a twit, pea brain (hm dun censor me isn vulgar)
I see myself in you, @user8446 .
It’s very much like they are taking credits for things that are responsibilities not favours.
My parents do the same. They often say, that I must be more grateful for the experiences I have access to. But, my experiences all come with strings attached. “if you take care of your sibling…”, “if you can run this errand…”, “if you can do this chore…”. I’d be like, I might as well be "struggling in the more traditional way” to have this kind of limitations.
I guess, it’s completely normal to feel this way. I came across this post on social media. It was about how your nervous system hints to you your safety level. Resident therapists, correct me if I’m wrong!