I struggle with letting myself rest. I feel that I haven’t been studying much and worry that I might be falling behind or I might not do well in my studies. I feel guilty when I’m not spending my time on my academics. Even when I’m watching shows or doing something “less productive”, the guilt still creeps in and all the thoughts of “I should be studying/working on my project”. I try to tell myself that rest is productive too but I feel guilty doing so, worrying that I’m using it as an excuse to not study.
I do try to push through it by trying to study and do something productive but the output of the work isn’t good.
I used to spent majority of my waking hours studying and doing academic work so I guess there’s that insecurity of “I might stop doing well in school because I’m trying to not push myself so hard”.
Don’t really know how to go about this and always find myself getting caught up with that “is this just an excuse?” or are my feelings real? I don’t know.
First off, thank you for sharing about your struggles with balancing rest and studying - I suspect that this is something many people face in our fast-paced society here in SG and this helps the community know they are not alone
Going back to your question that is on a more meta level of questioning your “question” - yes of course your feelings are real! From the sounds of it, it is clearly causing you some distress, bringing on feelings of guilt and constant rumination about school, making it difficult to truly rest. It is okay to give yourself space to simply feel overwhelmed by this. After recognising and acknowledging your feelings, and if they don’t go away, maybe some mindfulness practice may help you manage them for these short bursts. This could be box breathing, or combining it with a walk - sometimes changing our environment literally resets our brain again.
Of course, I hear you, that on a deeper level, you are contemplating if it’s an excuse. This makes me curious if you are feeling like there is a “right” way to study/rest. I noticed that you have already spotted some patterns - when you try to resist rest and “push through”, the output is actually not as satisfactory. I wonder if we can see this as a data point to inform us that rest is truly quite important! This is based on tangible observations and I encourage you to trust yourself on this
Aside, it might be helpful to even just talk about this with your school counsellor if you have access to one and if you’re feeling open about it. I’m wishing you the very best with your studies, @sincereseafoam977 , and take care!!
