My actions do not align with how I genuinely feel. I feel responsible when I settle my younger brother’s dinner, but I act grumpy and impatient which scares him. I can’t help it.
Hi there, thank you for sharing about the struggles you are facing towards your brother. It sounds like there are many emotions you are feeling towards the brother. I will encourage you to write down your thoughts and emotions towards the situation and your brother. You can use the template in this link to help you (1). Next, list down the goals and outcomes you want to see. Identifying our thoughts and emotions helps us to be more aware of our situation and make intentional choices that are aligned with the goals and outcomes we want to see.
Also, if the issue is a solvable problem (2), I would encourage you to use communication tools like DEAR MAN (3) or I message (4) to help you to communicate with him effectively and work towards an agreeable solution.
However, when you are in the moment and you are overwhelmed with the emotions, you can use tools such as the STOP skill tool (5) or breathing exercises to help you to cope and regulate your emotions. Lastly, as you take time to care for your brother, do remember to adopt self-care practices. Here is an article you can refer to for self-care tips (6).
- Thoughts, Feelings & Behaviors — Adapt For Life
- Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems
- DEAR MAN Skill - Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Tools
- Learn Assertive Communication in 5 Simple Steps
- STOP Skill - Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Tools
- J.Q. (Therapist)