life almost feels like it has hit a rock bottom for me lately. i am within this community where everyone are high flyers and i am supposed to be one too but it feels like i dont fit in here anymore. all my friends have been on a roll - knowing where they are likely going for exchange perhaps pretty prestigious universities overseas, getting into deans lists, basically just achieving everything and doing really well. on the other hand, i have nothing. i wasn’t able to achieve any of those even though i thought i had tried hard enough. i have always believed in myself and that things will change for the better but im not sure now. i feel so out of place in this same community that i have prayed for to be in and i also have no one to talk to about this…
i think i just experienced a mild (?) anxiety/panic attack for the first time as well and im so scared this will escalate into something bigger in the future what do i do
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Hi @user0860 Thanks for sharing! It sounds like you’ve been comparing yourself with your peers around you and feeling a sense of insecurity and inadequacy. I think being in a competitive environment with high achievers can be daunting and quite overwhelming, yet you ‘tried hard’ and I think that’s what matters most - that you still gave your all. I think it’s quite normal to feel ‘out of place’ when we don’t seem to have or achieve the same things as others. Our expectations and standards of measuring are heavily influenced by the community around us so wouldn’t you already seem like an outstanding individual if you were just placed in another community? Just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to follow others’ standard of measuring success, worth and happiness, you can follow your own (though easier said than done!) perhaps something more in your control such as the effort you put in, your resilience etc I think the belief that you are worthy regardless of how you’re doing relative to others, is a powerful belief that can spare you the anxiety of comparison and the constant questioning of ‘am I doing enough?’ There’s nothing wrong with pushing yourself but do treat yourself with kindness and compassion too:heart:
I would also suggest reaching out to a professional or contacting a helpline so you can better manage if an anxiety attack happens again! Feel free to share more~
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Dear @user0860
Thank you for writing in to share your experiences and struggles. I can sense that you are feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and discouraged, especially seeing your friends thrive while you feel you’ve hit a wall. It is completely valid that the pressure of that high-achieving environment is leading to stress and those frightening panic feelings.
I believe you are experiencing extreme burnout and comparison fatigue in a competitive setting. May I gently suggest to:
-Acknowledge the Pain: The anxiety and feeling of “rock bottom” are signs your body is overwhelmed. Your self-doubt (“I have nothing”) is likely Impostor Syndrome and it is not the truth or reality. You earned your place and belong there, and your value is not tied to a Dean’s List.
-Manage the Anxiety: If a panic feeling returns, use the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique (Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste) to reassure your body that you are safe in the present moment.
-Speak to school counsellors: They are trained in helping high-achieving students handle this exact kind of pressure and panic.
-Minimise the Comparison: Temporarily step back from viewing your friends’ successes. Focus only on your next small step for your own well-being, not their big achievements.
Please gently remind yourself that the current low point you are going through is temporary. I recommend to prioritise getting immediate support to manage the anxiety before it escalates. Keep reaching out here for support whenever needed, too, and know you are not alone as you navigate this period.