How do you normally deal with rejection in your life in different areas like your career or relationships?
I find rejection very hard to deal with because it threatens my sense of well being. I always feel like I have no value as a person…
I avoid going to social activities now to improve my mood, my mood drastically drops when Im in social situations… i hate being judged for the way I look, the way I talk. Its too tiring to deal with till during the weekends i prefer to do my own alone activities than go out and mingle with people.
I too long to be accepted and appreciated for who I am and a sense of belonging somewhere but that need seems to not be fulfilled yet. I feel i have no sense of control over my life and my emotional needs are simply not met to make me feel mentally healthy and stable…
Hi @Mentalhealth60 You are definitely not alone in this. I struggled with taking rejection too personally in job interviews or in personal life as well. I think what really helped was having a mindset change, reframing my view on rejection.
Previously, I viewed rejection as something is wrong with my entire being, my entire person, and that pulled down my self-esteem a lot. Once I started splitting myself up into different selves, I started to view them as feedback for growth for that particular self. For example, in career, rejection in a job interview simply means to work on my professional self. Speaking more eloquently and getting better as selling myself to employers. It does not mean that I lack in my friendships or family relationships. Those are separate selves that did not face rejection.
I hope I’m making sense I’m still constantly trying to better myself and learning to not take rejection too much to heart, but rather as a stepping stone for personal and professional growth. We’re all in this journey together.
Thank you for sharing about your struggles with rejection and the courage to explore better ways of managing it.
Understandably, rejection and feelings of inadequacy overwhelm many among us so please don’t feel alone.
I have noticed that for many of us, Self-worth is tied to external validation and heavily influenced by others’ opinions.
We also fear social situations which trigger anxiety and self-consciousness and cope by withdrawing from social activities to protect ourselves from potential rejection.
Here are some strategies to consider that could help:
Firstly engage in self-reflection and self care.
-Identify triggers: Recognize situations that lead to feelings of rejection.
-Self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience.
-Mindfulness: Focus on the present, letting go of negative thoughts.
-Self-care routines: Engage in activities bringing joy and relaxation.
Next look at rejection through a different lens.
-Separate self-worth from rejection: Understand that rejection doesn’t define your value.
-Rejection as opportunity: View rejection as a chance to learn and grow.
-Develop a growth mindset: Focus on personal development, not external validation.
Seek support, build connections
-speak to a Counsellor and address anxiety, low self worth and emotional balance.
-look for volunteer opportunities to build confidence and grow friends with common interests and values.
I have experienced major rejections personally and share that these are an integral part of our life journeys. It’s perfectly human and normal to feel momentarily down and disappointed. But keep going and you never know what better things are waiting for you. Stay optimistic and keep at it by taking small steps; you can achieve growth and fulfillment.
it sucks but its just something where u get rejected and then u have to suck it up n find the next one. dwelling about it will be worse. always go find the next one until u succeed
Hi there, thanks for sharing this because I’m sure many people are also facing the same issue. Personally when I face rejection, I shut down subsequent self-doubts or thoughts by telling myself:
It might be better for both of us to reject me - maybe the needs of the job/person is very different from own so it could be for the better, won’t have to commit a lot of effort and then suffer in the end
It’s their loss for not seeing my value - if they can’t see my value right now, how can they better utilise me in work so that I can play to my strengths/my value at work (I believe that this is important in building self-esteem and self-confidence in work, fulfilment at work, ability to get promotion, bonus etc)
I think it is important for the above thoughts to be effective, you should have a strong reason why you believe you yourself is worthy. Personally, I used to shrug away compliments because I think they are just saying out of courtesy and encouragement or politeness. I think this is really common among people, especially in Asian households where we have to be overachievers. But overtime I realised that they actually meant their compliments and this helped me to handle rejections. Although this group of people don’t appreciate me or don’t value me, there is a group of people in the past who appreciated me for who I am, what I did, so it is unfortunate for them that they rejected me and didn’t give me the chance to provide my value to them. This is my train of thought, hope it makes sense. Anyway, I would suggest for you to write down what people appreciate you for - can be something small like you helping to hold the door or lift, boss praised you for a good presentation, etc. Hang in there, you are definitely more than what you think you are capable of. All the best
Hello there and thanks for sharing about your feelings. The things you mentioned are quite relatable to me too, as I am someone who thrives from people’s appreciation for the things I do for them. As time went by, I realised that this is my life and if I do not begin appreciating and loving myself first, who would?
I still feel the fear of being judged by others from time to time, but every day I am working towards self-compassion and improving my self-esteem! Do note that you are not alone in this journey and I wish that you will be able to find your own identity. Take care!
hey @Mentalhealth60! i hear you. i am not someone who takes rejection very well either because i’m pretty insecure and not confident in myself since young. however, i want to share my experiences and i hope it can help you!
i’ve recently entered the stage in life where i have to work full-time jobs. so i applied to multiple positions… and of course it was difficult to land even one role. going on social media made me realise this is such a common problem that job-seekers are going through especially in this day and age. i’ve seen people with oxford degrees having this problem as well! which is definitely what not many people would expect. but… after a while i managed to land a job in a role and field that i was happy with! and coincidentally i am working with the person who got a role that i was rejected for, but well… their work ethic is not fantastic and my boss dislikes it a lot too, but really appreciates what i do. so i guess the main takeaway here is that rejection is not an accurate indication of your true abilities or value at all.
as for social situations and relationships, i have been really self-conscious as well recently especially when meeting new people so i’m not sure if i’m the best person to talk about this hahaha but what i find helps is to tell myself that if they have negative judgments despite me not doing anything wrong, well that isn’t someone who i’d want to be accepted by or care about right!
people make different judgments about others and truth is not everyone can like what we do, but that does not mean that no one will forever! i know it seems hopeless right now, i’ve been there, but know that you will find someone who accepts you for who you are. and always remember that you don’t have to change yourself just for the sake of being accepted by others, and it is not your fault nor is it an indication of your value in any way if you are rejected.
You are definitely not alone in this. I struggled with taking rejection too personally in job interviews or in personal life as well. I think what really helped was having a mindset change, reframing my view on rejection.
I’m still constantly trying to better myself and learning to not take rejection too much to heart, but rather as a stepping stone for personal and professional growth. We’re all in this journey together.