Hi, i am writing this because i got scolded by my boss today. I am being tasked to help with a personal stuff of my boss but i didnt do well and got scolded by her. The thing is I felt unfair that I got scolded by her because is a personal thing and not part of my job but she say it is to test me whether I can handle simple task… The thing is I am scared because from what I hear, this boss the temper can be from super good to bad and when she is mad like today, she will slam things on the table which scares me. Then sometimes she will cussed but i am not sure is it at me or at the situation. I have no thoughts of leaving as it is a job I found so hard and it will not look nice on my resume to leave in a super short period and my task wise i am good. But I need to learn how to deal with such bosses which is why I am asking for opinion on how to deal with difficult bosses with roller-coaster mood. After this scolding, it demoralised me and affected my motivation to work and tbh I actually tot of resigning for an hour but i feel that that will be too weak-minded of me and is just the first time i got scolded… Other elements i am good…
Thank you for coming toward so courageously and seeking ways to manage your experiences.
Dealing with a boss who has a roller-coaster mood can be challenging and demotivating.
Firstly, please know that you’re not alone in this struggle. Many people have to navigate difficult bosses and work environments.
Here are some tips to help you cope with your boss’s behavior:
- Stay calm and professional: When your boss is scolding or being aggressive, try to remain calm and composed. Avoid taking their behavior personally and focus on the issue at hand.
- Set clear boundaries: Discuss your role and responsibilities with your boss and establish clear expectations. This can help prevent tasks that are outside your job description.
- Develop a growth mindset: View challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Focus on developing new skills and improving your performance.
- Seek support: Talk to colleagues, friends, or a mentor about your experiences and feelings. They may offer valuable advice, emotional support, or help you develop strategies to cope with your boss’s behavior.
- Document incidents: Keep a record of incidents where your boss’s behavior was unacceptable. This can help you track patterns and provide evidence if needed.
- Consider a mediated conversation: If your boss’s behavior continues to affect your well-being and performance, consider requesting a mediated conversation with HR or a supervisor.
Regarding your concerns about leaving the job, it’s essential to weigh the pros and cons. While it’s true that leaving a job soon after starting might not look ideal on your resume, your mental health and well-being are crucial.
Remember, you deserve to work in a safe and respectful environment. Don’t hesitate to prioritise your well-being and explore options that support your growth and development. 
Hi @caringbee
Thank you for your reply, it really helps! But now is about being mentally weak and having a weak mental health… I know that I always have a weak mental health… But now that i am in the workforce, i understand is not easy but i dont want to be seen as mentally weak despite my weak mental health… Because of small scolding, I already feel like resigning and i think this is mentally weak which tbh i have also been said by someone… So how should i deal with this situation? How to show that I am not mentally weak and how do i not escape and avoid things even through small setbacks
@AnxietyEmployee It sounds like you’re in a really tough spot, and I can imagine how stressful and unsettling it must feel to be treated that way. It’s commendable that you’re willing to stay on and learn how to manage this situation instead of giving up—this shows strength and resilience. 
You mentioned that your tasks are going well and that you’re motivated to stay because this job is hard-won and valuable for your resume. Use this as a grounding point—remind yourself why you’re here and the skills you’re building. If you view this situation as an opportunity to grow professionally and emotionally, you might start seeing your boss’s behaviour as something to learn from rather than something to fear.
Additionally, for tasks outside your job scope, like this personal errand, it’s okay to clarify expectations. Next time, you could say something like, “I want to make sure I meet your expectations. Could you share more details on what’s important here?” This shows initiative and professionalism while setting boundaries subtly.
Difficult bosses can be a challenge, but they also offer a chance to grow. By focusing on your strengths, staying professional, and learning how to manage the dynamic, I’m sure that you’ll come out of this stronger and more confident. You’re not alone in facing challenges like this— try to lean on your support (e.g., friends, family, close colleagues) and take one day at a time. Do continue to share with us here!
Thank you I am happy to hear you found the pointers useful!
Dealing with perceived mental weakness, especially in a professional setting, can be challenging. Here are some suggestions to help you cope:
Recognise that mental health is just as important as physical health
- Acknowledge your feelings: It’s essential to accept that your emotions are valid. Avoid self-criticism and focus on understanding your feelings.
- Develop emotional resilience: Practice self-care, stress management, and relaxation techniques, such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga.
- Reframe negative self-talk: Challenge negative thoughts by reframing them in a more positive and realistic light. For example, instead of thinking “I’m mentally weak,” say “I’m facing a tough situation, but I can learn to cope.”
Build coping strategies for workplace challenges
- Develop problem-focused coping: Identify specific problems and brainstorm solutions. Break down larger issues into manageable tasks.
- Practice assertive communication: Learn to express your needs, concerns, and feelings in a clear, respectful manner.
- Seek support: Build a support network of colleagues, friends, or a therapist. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.
Avoid escape and avoidance behaviors
- Face your fears: Gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger anxiety or avoidance.
- Develop a growth mindset: View challenges as opportunities for growth and learning.
- Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
Remember, mental strength is not about being impervious to challenges
- Recognize that everyone faces struggles: It’s okay to not be okay. Even people who seem mentally strong face challenges.
- Focus on progress, not perfection: Mental strength is about learning, growing, and coping, not about being flawless.
- Prioritise self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, just as you would a close friend.
You are not alone in this struggle. Many people face similar challenges, and it’s okay to ask for help. Remember that mental strength is not about being impervious to challenges, but about learning, growing, and coping.
Hello @CaringBee
Another thing I want to point out is that I find it hard to remember things… Like I know we have ways to overcome, like writing down all… But is not about that but more like my brain auto filters whats important and close off to others even though they r important. Only those that are mentioned help me remember, it is important then I will remember and the rest of the words, i just filter it as passing remarks. This makes me wonder if I am actually open to learning because the key to be willing to learn is open but i feel that i am very close minded and to the point I wonder is it i dont want to learn thats why i am not absorbing information… People always say put effort to remember but idk is it cuz of my past burnout experience that I find it tiring to put I effort to learn… And because of them i always got scolded because my colleague had to repeat and worse is I hate that I learn only through banging the wall cuz the feeling is really not good…
Thank you for sharing your challenges. It sounds like you’re experiencing:
Information Filtering
- Selective attention: Your brain prioritises certain information over others.
- Mental fatigue: Past burnout experiences make learning feel exhausting.
Potential Underlying Causes
- Burnout residue: Residual effects from previous burnout.
- Anxiety/stress: Affecting focus and retention.
Strategies to Enhance Learning
- Active listening: Engage fully when receiving information.
- Spaced repetition: Review material at increasingly longer intervals.
- Mnemonics: Associate new info with memorable concepts.
- Contextual learning: Connect new info to real-life situations.
- Break learning into chunks: Manageable segments. Write down instructions. Read up and learn and if questions arise, ask them. Make mind maps to understand the big picture and work out the linkages.
Overcoming Mental Barriers
- Self-compassion: Acknowledge limitations, practice kindness.
- Reframe mindset: View challenges as opportunities.
- Celebrate small wins: Reinforce progress.
I applaud you for proactively working on building greater self awareness and considering possible solutions. Overcoming learning barriers takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself. With slow steady steps forward you can get to the destination!