How to feel less insecure

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

Uhm, so I wanted to know how therapists feel about this cause it’s hard to get rid of it no matter how much I shove it down. It’s been resurfacing because lately, I’m trying to reach out for help and it’s always making me downplay my own problems and I end up backing out from getting help.

It’s kinda stupid because I know therapists are like there to listen and all but I always feel like a waste of time since I spend so much time struggling to get the words out. I only had a 30min mental health check in with a guy and I’m already feeling like a waste of space in his notebook because I’m not even paying him to listen to me which makes me feel a bit more guilty. Furthermore, the things I try to speak about feels like something everyone goes through and I can’t help but keep thinking maybe I’m just overreacting and that he’s probably heard it so many times over and over. Do therapists actually mind? Or like, is it just me? It’s kind of making me anxious or whatever and It’s because of that I don’t feel like going back.

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Hi relaxingpumpkin7875,

To answer your question directly, I do not believe your therapist genuinely does not see you as a waste of time when you struggle to find words. Sitting with someone while they work through something difficult is literally the job and the pauses and the searching for words are part of the process is not an inconvenience.

What strikes me about what you’ve written is the feeling of being a burden, of taking up too much space, of downplaying your own struggles, seems to be the very thing getting in the way of you getting help for the very thing you’re struggling with. It’s a bit of a painful loop.

Something to think about, when you say things have been resurfacing lately and you’ve been trying to reach out, what’s been going on that’s made you want to seek help in the first place?