How to hang out with a very unique mom

Hangouts Family and Friends
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My mom is in her fifties, and I am starting poly this year. Today I showed her a video of the studio ghibli director miyazaki saying that the studio “is going to fall apart” when asked if he was worried about its future. I found it humorous, she lashed out, and says that because she’s superstitious it’s not a good thing for futures to fall apart

superstition is a reason why I can’t get along with her well. I can be superstitious as well but her own goes a bit too far to a point it seems to be part of her personality.

other reasons I can’t get along is because she can be very stubborn, has mood swings, will get angry with others for almost no reason and raise voice, say unnecessary insults like "cracking the brain open” or “useless”, does not see mental health as important, and a bit more that I don’t know how to describe.

so it feels like I cannot tell jokes to her, cannot show her seemingly humorous/happy content (there was another time I showed her the horse named haru urara from Japan and she condemns the horse because well, haru is known for losing and my mom being superstitious hates the idea of no success). Her hearing growing a bit poorer is also affecting how I interact with her because when I give a reply loud enough for her to hear, she claims I’m not even replying.

and that is the life of me and my unique mom so far. are there ways to better interact with her?

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Must been tough @undying_sun, and you may have heard this, and if you haven’t yet heard, Im sorry about your situation and you do not deserve to be, in a way of emotional abuse, be mistreated this way by your Mum,

It is concerning you to the extent where you’re feeling frustrated, afraid of stirring the waters, yet uncomfortable for both yourself and your state of mind, as well as your mindfulness and mental wellness and wellbeing,

I wish and hope you will seek out avenues of help for yourself, both with subsidised counselling via Polyclinic referral as well as widening your circle of connection and getting connected to someone close you can trust who understands yourself and your family situation,

If youve maxed your options on relating, connecting and caring sharing with someone close to family and yourself, the practical way will be to seek help from a professional who is someone who can gauge your understanding, guide your self control, self restraint and self respect with yourself and family situation, as well as give you the necessary networks, avenues and resources where you will be receiving timely yet effective intervention, for your emotional health, mental health and mental wellness (as well as your family’s emotional health, mental health and mental wellness, and a multiplier effect by extension since your family whereby seeing you getting help as a natural way to combat what seems lacking, may, on occasion, start to ask you about counselling and how counselling went, and fact that this convo started, may be, yet, part of progress, while not a large step, though any change is something significant which may in effect, shake something up or ease into actionable steps, as well,

Keep us on your current update, youre wise, courageous, self compassionate and compassionate about suffering of your Mum and family

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hii, thanks for sharing! it makes sense that this is tiring. it sounds like you keep trying to share small happy things, but it turns into scolding or insults, and then you feel like you have to walk on eggshells.

about the superstition part, it might help to treat it like a boundary topic. not because you agree with it, but because you already know it tends to blow up. so it can be like ok, this one is not for her, i will share it with someone else instead.

and for the day to day interaction, sometimes the goal can be smaller. not trying to get her to understand humour, but trying to reduce conflict.

  • keep messages short and simple

  • pick calmer timing if possible

  • if her hearing is poorer, try facing her, speaking slower, and using fewer words instead of louder