How to prevent ED...?

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Hoping to seek help her before spiraling any further… Some context: I was a skinny kid since young, possibly the thinnest kid in all of the schools I attended (my BMI never passed 16, ever). I was called names, and the constant “eh you never eat ah?” from people who dont see me often (eg, cny, friends gathering aft a long while) was annoying but I dont think (?) it affected me because I knew, and my immediate family and close friends knew I ate A LOT (I was very fit and athletic, doing sports throughout school), so I usually brush them off saying lol I eat my own share AND the leftovers of my friends alr (truth, I was a bottomless pit). but I also had a very weak stomach since childhood, coupled with anxiety which gave me ibs and made me go to the toilet multiple times a day and immediately after every meal. though it was my WISH every year to gain weight because the remarks on my look (eg. “eh you malnutrition sia”) + consuming social media and people around me starting to have curves and looking really good while i am just skin and bones. I tried drinking full cream milk and eating supper every night but it didnt work and i felt I was harming my health so i stopped.

fast forward to me at 28 years old, I finally sought professional help for my anxiety and was on meds for 2 years. I finally lived like a normal person these 2 years, not having to run to the washroom to clear my bowels right after evety meal, it was livechanging.

Obviously, the number on the scale kept going up and I have gained a whooping 10kg since.

Recently I’ve been weighing myself at least 3 times a day, trying to cut out carbs from my meals if possible and focusing on eating protein and veges only if possible, and as im typing now thinking if i should order clear soup instead of my favourite tomyam soup just because it’s healthier/less fattening. im also looking down at my tummyfats at least 25 times a day and if im not busy, the only thing on my mind is how to lose these tummy,arm and thigh fats. my BMI is now at 18.5-18.6 which online says is healthy, but I feel so flabby and unattractive… compared to my past thin self (so contradictory, I know)… i hate that im having these thoughts and that im stopping myself from eating what I like and I really dont want to develop another mental health issue… help!

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Hello @Kiwibagel. What you’re sharing takes a lot of self-awareness, and the fact that you’re catching these patterns early and naming them as concerning is genuinely important. These are real warning signs that your relationship with food and your body is shifting in an unhealthy direction, even if your behaviours haven’t escalated to something more severe yet. You’re right to take it seriously.

The behaviours you’re describing (weighing multiple times daily, food restriction, body-checking) can escalate gradually and quietly, especially in someone who already has an anxiety history. You don’t need to wait until things get “bad enough” to seek help.

The most useful next step would be to bring this up with the same doctor or psychiatrist who helped you with your anxiety or to ask for a referral to a psychologist or counsellor who has experience with disordered eating. You don’t need a formal diagnosis to deserve support. What you’re experiencing right now is enough reason to reach out.